story untold.

i'm back.

2010-05-04T11:07:00.002+08:00

hey mans. i'm back. i'm currently stuck in the freaking library with this damn noisy girl, doing my econs. yeah. and erm, it's kinda frustrating how my birthday's in 5 days and yet i dont feel as happy as my little brother. ironic isn't it.
mid years're in two weeks and i havent started studying yet, and this is starting to freak me out cause all the teachers are going, oh mid years're damn important, if you fail, it'll be damn hard for you to pick yourself up again for promos. what the fuck.
try having 5 hours of sleep every night and constant piling of homeworks and shit.
on a lighter note, i've found my love in choir. singing. is. awesome. ask anyone, they'll tell you that i've indeed found some passion over here in srjc. i miss st pat's though.
and hey hey hey! there's this musical going on in my school called HUFF! by SRJC chorale and podium (drama), 630pm, LT5, SRJC. (:
rsvp me if you want the tickets. :D

signing off, doing econs, ciaos.
bytheway, search meiosis square dance on youtube. (: super cute.
toodles for now.

march post.

2010-03-19T23:22:00.003+08:00

woah, i don't know how many people out there is still reading this plain, old, boring blog. but hey ! it's better than nothing, the notion of updating every now and then is erm, kinda okay i guess.
i just facilitated the st patrick's school peer leaders' training camp and i must say, i felt super young when i was doing them cheers and when i sang songs along with all the others and all. felt good. really awesome. but now i'm stuck in jc life and nothing's gonna change that fact. so might as well embrace this fact.
nothing much to report, but hey ! i'm now singing for the SRJC choir and i'm in the tenor section. kinda awesome really. :D

here's a song that kinda moved me abit during reflections, thanks eugene, dominicyong, jovi, darren tan, marcus seetoh, excos '10, martin tan, jonas, jason poh for being there for me. (:

it's about time.

2010-02-04T21:14:00.004+08:00

dear world. oh my gosh, it's been like what, more than a month since i lasted posted shit on this blog? yeah. anyways right, i'm posted to serangoon junior college, and i like it. i mean, even though i wanted very much to be part of cjc, srjc will do just fine. and for the past few days of orientation, it has been like super fun. i've made many friends and pals in my class, S10 - bio, chem, physics H2, econs H1. so yeah. it's really awesome actually. and on mondays, wednesdays and fridays, you get to wear half-uniform ! how cool is that. that is, srjc polo tee with some bermudas, yup.
having said that, i love st pat's suddenly sinked into me and yeah i feel really really attached my secondary school. i mean. it's like. awesome days in st pat's i can't forget. like peer support and debates, damn nostalgic.
shit man, i just feel so at-home when i'm at srjc. it's that nice nice feeling. oh wells. :D
too bad, cjc. you don't want such a talent like myself.
loves and out.

falling, falling.

2010-01-17T18:59:00.001+08:00

JULY FIFTH TWO-THOUSAND EIGHT.
DECEMBER TWENTY-SEVENTH TWO-THOUSAND NINE.
JANUARY SIXTEENTH TWENTY-TEN.

there are no boundaries.
'cause i ain't giving up on us.
because we look beautiful together.
and we'll always stay the same.
and the faith will be strong.
why?
'cause we're meant to be.

despite the adversities, we'll turn out fine.
and i love you too, honey.
and dont give up on us.

here's a song to us, baby.

December - Adam Lambert.

november
nothing much to remember
you were not in sight
December
change of the weather
you were by my side

love
is all we want
love
love
is all we need
it's all that we really want

no matter
where the trail goes
i know you are close by
changes
in the seasons
it's just what's required

love
is all we want
love
love
is all we need
it's all that we really want

love
oh love
is what we want is
what we want
it's what we really need
yeah

love
is what we want
is what we really want
yeah, love

'o' level results.

2010-01-13T09:52:00.002+08:00

english. B4.
humanities. (hist/ss) A2.
elementary math. A2.
additional math. B3.
physics. B3.
chemistry. B3.
biology. A2.
chinese. B3.
oral/aural. merit.

L1R5: 16 points.
L1B4: 13 points.

loves and out.

aftermath - adam lambert.

2010-01-05T12:07:00.004+08:00

Aftermath - Adam Lambert.

Have you lost your way
Living in the shadow of the messes that you made
And so it goes
Everything inside your circle starts to overflow
Take a step before you leap
Into the colours that you seek
You get back what you give away
So don’t look back on yesterday

Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don’t be afraid of what’s inside
Gonna tell ya you’ll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you’re not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath

You feel the weight
Of lies and contradictions that you live with every day
It’s not too late
Think of what could be if you rewrite the role you play
Take a step before you leap
Into the colours that you seek
You get back what you give away
So don’t look back on yesterday

Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don’t be afraid of what’s inside
Gonna tell ya you’ll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you’re not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath
In the Aftermath

Before you break you have to change your own mind
Take a trip and fall into the pit
Tell a stranger that their view is full
So all you feel is love love
All you feel is love love

Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don’t be afraid of what’s inside
Wanna tell you you’ll be alright
In the Aftermath

Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don’t be afraid of what’s inside
Gonna tell ya you’ll be alright
In the Aftermath

Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you’re not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath
In the Aftermath
Gonna tell ya you’ll be alright
In the Aftermath
In the Aftermath
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath

p.s. you're not alone in this, sunshine, your pillars are your family and friends and me. so this song's for you, you're gonna be alright in the aftermath. (:

resolutions.

2010-01-04T11:52:00.000+08:00

hey you crazy schooling people out there, i've got no school to date, and hell i'm feeling super bored. trying to pick up my cooking skills once more by attempting to whip up awesome meals so yeah. and i know this is probably just 4 days late but here we go, i need to write my new year's resolutions on this blog cause at the end of this year, i wanna see if i achieved it. here goes.

1. get into SAJC. i know this is pretty much pre-determined by my 'o' level results which will probably be released on 11th jan but yeah, i wanna get into a JC, most probably.

2. maintaining the 'work hard, play harder' attitude. love that style of working ever since i was inducted into the board in '08. awesome mentality that keeps me going.

3. pursuing God and religion in Christianity. read my bible and yearning for spiritual growth, important, since i've been in a catholic institute for TEN years, omg.

4. peer support board meetings. i wanna be able to attend these meetings as-and-when, just to keep up with the relevant changes in the board whatsoever, or just to keep in touch with the juniors.

5. picking up my guitar again. xD. i wanna form a band, just a thought though, and i want it to be complete, like REALLY complete with a bassist, drummer, guitarists, lead singer, violinist, pianist, and whatever-else that makes soothing noises.

6. learn a new skill in CCA in my tertiary education. see how important chinese is today? yeah. so we've gotta keep upgrading ourselves. also to keep up with the news to write awesome essays for GP.

7. FINDING MY PASSION AND DREAM.

8. to never stop loving her by keeping the faith. (:

ambitious right? yeah. lovely.
the higher you aim, the harder you fall.
the harder you fall, the faster you learn. so just aim high.

love ya all.

JAPAN part 2.

2009-12-25T17:10:00.000+08:00

there you go. picture perfect.

JAPAN part 1.

2009-12-25T17:06:00.000+08:00

Japan '09 trip.

Day 0. 13th dec.
Dad, mom, popo and i were packing and packing like super crazy, weird people we are indefinitely, 'cause we packed at least 5 thick winter wear for little aiden and that alone was scary. Cause for myself i only brought 1 winter wear, the thick one, yeah. Yeah, anyway, i'm feeling really nostalgic right now cause it feels like last year before i left for hongkong where it hurt so much when i came back. Oh but this trip should be different. It's a family trip and hey! I'd say i'm rather happy with what i have right now, yes. (: and yeah it's that feeling that warms my heart. It's getting late anyway, i'm gonna go sleep, ciaos. And then the next morning, we woke up and i felt super euphoric 'cause we're finally gonna go to japan! Woohoo, i've waited for a whole year for this shit and now it's finally here. It's like a dream come true manxzxz. So we did our final checking of our bags and our cabby only came at 1045 when he was supposed to come at 1030, little late-coming fella, tsk. But we still got to the airport in time, and checked in our lugguages and stuff. SHERI TAN CAME TO THE AIRPORT. Hot damn right, she came in this really lovely red pullover, omg. We talked a little and she tried to clarify stuff with my mom, and obviously that didnt work out that well. But no matter. We're good. (: i'm now on the plane, 240am, on the way to sapporo, japan. I'm gonna enjoy myself in japan, hopefully, though i'm gonna miss her so much, little obsession of mine luh, can't do anything to stop it from happening.
P.s. I didnt bring the sheri tan badge cause i already have her in my little heart.
awwwwwwwwwwwwww. damn corny lah, omg.
Okay, so it was 345am when i finally fell asleep, but guess what, at 545am, i got up, looked out the window and saw the sunrise, quite darn amazing, omg. Wish you were here to see it with me.

Day 1. 14th dec.
We arrived at the chitose sapporo airport, and omg, on the sky bridge, the link between the airplane and the actualy airport, it was actually really cold. Omg, i felt a little worried that i may not be able to tahan the cold here in japan for 9 days. After collecting all our baggages and stuff, we stepped outside and experienced it for ourselves. It was a pure minus 6 degrees celcius, dangerous yet a process of acclimatisation took place to put our bodies back to the normal temperature. Like all other cold places, whenever i breathed out, there was like smoke coming out, omg, so cool. (: then after this, we went to the Rera Chitose Outlet mall, where i bought something for sheri tan, yup. Surprise surprise. It's this shopping mall which is like outdoor and it was freezing 'cause it was damn bloody cold. The forsaken place was like a maze omg. I got lost trying to find the the toilet luh, damn it. For lunch we had some crepe thing but it was rolled up to look like a maki. The hand-rolled sushi, woah, damn awesome, sweet sweet sweet sin. :D woot. And why must all the fucking japanese look like sheri tan? It's like i see a spliting image of her everywhere i go, how's that for obsessive, huh. Bloody pale skin, huge eyes, but not the same smell, fortunately, otherwise she'd lose the oomph factor, heehee. After shopping, eating and missing the little skinny fella in singapore, we went to the hell's valley. Ooh, sounds scary right. Actually it's just a place full of sulphur and hot spring thingys. Kinda cool, cause the steam rose from the ground, imba manxzxz. We're gonna stay at the Norboribetesu Hotel and it's only 530pm here in japan but it looks like 1130pm in singapore. Woah basket, time passes so slowly lah. ): dinner at 630pm was SUPERB. It's like a whole table of buffet to yourself, and gosh the crab was huge. I took quite awhile to digest the thing, omg. Now i'm just lying on the tatami bed, waiting for the next thing to happen. Woah, the hot spring was good. Naked guys sitting together in a hot tub, who could ever want more? :D toodles.

Day 2. 15th dec.
We woke up at 7am to pack our stuff and all, popo's being so slow, as she always was, we had buffet breakfast at the hotel, before leaving for lake toya. Lake toya was super duper cold, and there was so much snow ! (: then we ate ice cream at lake hillview. THE ICE-CREAM WAS SUPER NICE AND SMOOTH. Don't think sick guys. But the vanilla was white as snow, not viscous and super nice. :D lunch was at one of the restaurants near lake toya and lunch was kinda sumptuous. A whole table of food everytime we eat in japan. :D my hand's so cold ! I forgot to bring my gloves down, shit man, how i'd wish for SOMEONE to hold my hand. After this, we took a 3 hour bus ride to the restaurant in hakodate, where it is said to be minus 5 degrees at that point of time. Woah ! All the cars were covered with snow, like a layer or snow on top of the vehicles, like kueh lapis, but white color. The food for dinner was fun, 'cause we had those raw prawns, flour batter dip and a hot boiling pot of oil. We had to dip the tempura into the batter and cook it in the oil, and it was super fun. (: it is currently snowing very heavily over here and later i'm gonna go for the hot springs thing with dad. Yup. We're now staying at the Hanabishi hotel, woah, huge room, damn power service, efficient and super friendly staff. It's still snowing outside, and i'm still waiting for mom and dad to go walk with them. Hotel's playing those serenading chirstmas-y songs, ahhhhh, reminds me of how christmas is just round the corner and how the year 2009 is coming to an end. Mixed feelings actually, but still, we've gotta embrace it and cherish all the moments with one another, be it friend to friend, family member to family member, or boyfriend-girlfriend, relationships are super important and we've to upkeep them properly. And i've gotta say i'm afraid of losing alot of people even though i have faith in them, it's just a stupid sob feeling, and maybe i'm too sensitive. But yeah. Hell to this. The snow is still coming down hard, and all i want for christmas is ... Poof ! I was feeling hungry, so i went to 7-11 to buy some cup noodles and woah, freaking millions of porn magazines just displayed like that. And they let me buy liquor, me, a minor, buy liquor. OMG. Awesomes and dangerous yeah. Curry noodles jap style is gooood. (: nights, and walking alone in the snow is just cold, and somewhat alone-nish. Ta-ta.

Day 3. 16th dec.
Oh the phantom of the opera is a stupid slow-moving show. But nonetheless, the song is kinda cool, 'cause the hotel was playing it as the background melody in the breakfast hall called senju. Phantom of the opera, i remembered sheri telling me she liked the dense show. Ahhh gees, fucking missing her in my little heart and cold-soul. Oh yeah, the food. Ooh, glorious food. (: lunch was sup-tastic. Crab, seafood, scallop, woah. Snow, cold wind. Oh hell it was almost heaven. ALMOST. 'cause, it was really cold and i tak boleh tahan at times, but it was worth my while anyway. Then later we took a trip to the historical sites of hakodate, which i didnt pay attention to the fella at all, so yeah. Just enjoying the scenes of the winter wonderland dream and snow-ish fantasies. I SWEAR TO GOD, ALL THE JAPANESE PEOPLE LOOK LIKE SHERI TAN LAH, FUCK. OMG. It's so hard to like, not miss her, when she's all around you, hell manxzxz, it's like omni-present, hahah. Dinner at hanabishi hotel was so-so but the hot spring was hot. The water is like 70 fucking degrees celcius? I'm like being boiled inside like some seafood in a hotpot. Oh, but the after effect was damn shiok. Damn awesome powers. (: the sumi shampoo really hit the spot cause it's a special charcoal shampoo that conditions and washes your hair together at one go, and the japanese LOVE it. Alright, it's getting late, and yup, main event's the next 3 days. And then 2 more days in sapporo and singapore. (: which means it'll be christmas. :D woot. Lovelys. (: rusutsu here we come. Toodles and loves! <3333

Day 4. 17th dec.
We left hanabishi hotel today for convent with real nuns in it. And yup, it was super super cold again, but i was already wearing 4 layers, what the hell, i'm so non-resistant to cold. ): anyways, we saw many statues at the place, including churches, st.michael and mother mary (the grotto). And oh gosh, noteworthy ice cream, sweet potato flavour, super imba. After this we went to the morning market of hakodate and i dont know what's wrong with me, but it was much much much colder at the bloody market. Maybe cause of the fishes or smth, their existance made the weather conditions harsher, strong winds accompanied by snow flakes that would bite into your skin, hell damn painful yeah. Sashimi is awesome. Especially raw salmon and raw scallop. (: we've 4 more days in this cold weather so i've gotta savour every moment even though i cannot tahan at times. Lunch ! Lunch was horrible. First meal in hokkaido which i didnt enjoy very much, cause of the weird looking cakes and the snail. OMG, the snail. Bloody gave me a shock of my life manxzxzx. Imagine gary, the spongebob's pet, being barbequed and grazed with cheese. Disgusting. Anyway, we set out for rusutsu where we stopped by the seaweed factory to shop and pee. Dad and mom are totally being assholes for making fun of me and that girl whom they think is cute. OH GOD. ): happens all the time lah damnit. Forever and Always playing on repeat on my ipod, the one by F.I.S.H. not taylor swift. The F.I.S.H. one is nicer. ((: secret ! It's still super cold outside but we feeling warm because of the top notch facilities in this awesome hotel called Rusutsu Ski Resort. :D awesome socks. AHHH YOU LITTLE FUCKER, YOU'RE SO NEAR YET SO FAR, OMG. TOODLES LUH, NO MOOD TO WRITE ANYMORE.

Day 5. 18th dec.
Okay, maybe not ALL japanese people look like sheri, cause some of them are just totally weird looking, but you get the idea, like the figure of a perfect incompletion. And the first day of rusutsu started with breakfast at the Costa, fine-dining italian american breakfast, bloody fine place, omg. Their cutlery is platinum, that's even more expensive than gold, holy shots. We then went for the jet mobile at 2pm, me dad and aiden, and it was hell of a ride, super fun, but super cold. (: lovely anyways. We then had some lunch and went for hot spring ! I'll spare the details here k. Next, we went for some dinner, where it was pretty awesome. :D getting kinda tired, gonna go sleep k. Ciaos !

Day 6. 19th dec.
You know, when people think about skiing, they think about risks. And that's exactly what my dad and i did today, we took risks. We went up a 741m high mountain via a condola and skiied down, woah, the feeling was terrific. The wind was shiok and the speed at which we travelled at was exhilarating. Then we felt hey, no kick. And then we attempted the 869m high hill-like mountain, i wont say it's a mountain but it looks like a really high, steep slope and voila. We went skiing right, skiing left and down down, in a earlier round, sugar we're goin' down swinging ! (: fob is awesome. Okay, so that was skiing. Then next we (only my dad and i) tried the dog sledding thingy. THE DOG IS KAWAII. (: loves ! :D dinner was at this chinese restaurant in the north wing of rusutsu ski hotel. Omg, did i mention that this resort has 3 wings? The north, the south, and the tower lodge, bloody hell cool. Then the mountains are called east mt, west mt and mt isoka. Isoka i've no idea what it is, but it just sounds pretty cool. :D yup, so this marks the end of day 6, 3 days to go and we're headed for sapporo tmrw ! Gotta get some stuff for sheri's parents, yeah. ): and mom's birthday too, omg ! So many things to do, so little time. Ciaos for nows. Fireworks from the snow was awesome, wish she was here with me.

Day 7. 20th dec.
So we went to the cresenthall for breakfast which was again international buffet. Boring! But the nuggets were awesome. We packed our stuff and left rusutsu for otaru. Otaru was freaking cold, dont know why, i think it must've been minus 5 or smth, omg. Plus i was only wearing 2 layers eh, tsk. We went food shopping in otaru where dad bought mom some snowflake pendant which was amazingly affordable - 2000 yen, 30 bucks singapore dollars. And it looks superb. It's a product of the glass company furano but still, it is still spectacular. Cheese cake for 30 singapore dollars, woah, uber awesome. :D woohoo. Lunch was alright, and yup, in just awhile, we arrived in sapporo once more and we're currently staying at the sapporo grand hotel. Honestly, i dont like the feeling one bit, 'cause it makes me feel, weird-ish. It's late at night, and i can't sleep, missing sheri just runs too deep ! ): two more days. :D ciaos.

Day 8. 21st dec.
Woke up early in the morning to have breakfast at the Node 43. Whoa, i think i've become a nerd seriously, cause everytime words like node come out uh, i think of the nerve fibres, nodes of ranvier. Anyways, today we went to daimaru, a once-prevalent shopping mall in singapore but it closed down soonafter cause of the loss of customers and stuff. We were shopping and shopping, and we went to The Stellar Place for lunch where we ate italian food for a change. Woot. But even though it was italian, it was fused inevitably with a little japanese flavor (seaweed) on the cabonara spaghetti. Dad bought a dark green long sleeved t-shirt like shirt for me from the boutique called comme ca ism, and it is local. So YOU CAN'T FIND IT IN SINGAPORE ! (: and i thought this other long sleeved t-shirt light green colored one from design graphics was quite nice as well so yup, i got him to get it for me as well. :D lovely. Then i saw this really cute red leather strap bracelet and i got it as well. Awesomes manxzxzx. (: together the three of us, mom, dad and i, we braved the cold in the snow, and it was somelike compared to a blizzard cause the snow came sideways, upwards, downwards, all ways. Omg, it was so heavy and icy and COLD. But we made it in the end. Dinner was this simple yet delicious mos burger beef meal which was delightful and awesome and hot and cheesy! (: yes yes yes, most importantly, cheesy. Gonna sleep after mom's birthday fruit cake surprise! (:

Day 9. 22nd dec.
Home. And christmas. (:

update.

2009-12-01T22:41:00.002+08:00

hey people. yeah, here i am, back to blogger! WOOHOO. yes yes yes. it's been a tad too boring during these holidays 'cause it doesn't feel right yeah. anyway, we've decided on the new '10 excos and results will be released soon, :D
and so, yesterday was the peer support bbq, where we did lots of barbequing and shit, shouting, singing, screaming, playing, running, getting wet. ooh ooh. it was fun anyway.
i've gotta admit, this year has been quite a year for me. new friends were found, new relationships were created, and i got through my first big test of 'o's. no matter. i'll post the '09 review on the last day of the year. this year, i've gotta say, it feels entirely different from the last. it just feels so much nicer, i'm so much happier, the air is fresher knowing that we've been through a whole lotta shit and still survived anyway. so yeah, quite darn awesome if you ask me.
grad night was totally awesome too, 'cause we had the night of our lives. check my facebook profile for the photos taken. (: and now, i guess all we can do is just relax, and cherish every moment we have before the new year starts in 2010. and we pray ever so fervently that the world doesn't just fucking end in 2012. AMEN TO THAT.

forever and always,
ryan.

liberation .

2009-11-13T23:55:00.004+08:00

liberation.

what other word can describe this day, better? nope, there's no other word. even after screaming, shouting, swearing, tearing up papers and more screaming after our very last paper today, it just doesn't seem right. the end of my 'o's just feels like the start of something tougher, something even more daunting and undulating than ever. what the fuck is going on. i actually miss studying, on the day of the end of all my national exams. i miss sitting down, doing ten-years-series, and spotting repeated questions in paper ones. hell, whenever a question was repeated, i feel so accomplished. like i've definitely studied my fucking best for my exams. and in the end? we'll just see some guy who apparently studied his ass off, and missing the whole process itself. it's so weird. we've all inevitably become nerds - after running, hey hey, we need to repay our oxygen debts, eh look! breadtalk, diffusion of gases, i can smell the damn bread from here. but anyways, it's been fun, so gotta move on. if i can make it to a JC, i'd go for SAJC, yeah. awesome shoes.

since i've only a month to spare and i'm no longer gonna work, might as well spent my time doing smth productive. i'll see what i can do, there're many stuffs actually, contributing to society, studying again. helping out in school. and there i have those haters, who hate me cause i'm too attached to the school. you can't blame me for that, i've been living there literally, for 4 years. how can you expect me to leave something so awesome in just 3 months? FUCK NO. CB.

and i really need to catch some sleep. in total about, 87 hours on average of 50 days of missing sleep during studies time for 'o's preparation work. graduation night's coming and i haven't got anything to wear, argh. and it's all guys btw, that seriously sucks. we're gonna do smth probably after the night has ended, and celebrate. i've no idea what, but it'll be fun. i look forward to going out with all of my peeps again, being all hyper, after being drained by these exams. i hope it'll be fun. i know so. i hope so.

it's day one, and i'm starting to feel a withdrawal symptom. but no worry, she'll be back soon. praying fervently yeah God. well, it's time for miracles, again.

here's a slice of life, ryan chong. throwing away entry proofs, reminiscing studies time, and getting my sleep back finally, tonight.

awesome shoes. 'cause i ain't giving up on us either.
stay strong, be strong. loves. hearts. linksz. shingz. booms.

time for miracles.

2009-11-05T16:57:00.002+08:00

2012 ! showing on 13th nov! (: woohooooooo. and this. THIS. is adam lambert's genius.
Time for miracles - adam lambert in his upcoming album (gonna be released on 23rd nov.) FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT.
BLOODY AWESOME k. ciao guys.

It's late at night and I can't sleep
Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile

Every kiss I can't forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

I just want to be with you
Cause living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes

The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

Baby can you feel it(feel it)
You know I can hear it(hear it)
So can you feel it feel it....

You know it's time....

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love

You know I ain't giving up on us
You know I ain't giving up on
Oh I ain't giving up on us

3 days.

2009-10-24T00:56:00.000+08:00

just another 3 days to 'o's.

the fucking honey is damn sweet, made me damn high. ARGH. can't study, can't sleep. omg. oh well. coping well. with my subjects yeah. but there's so much to study. so much to do. ten years series and prelim papers's a normal routine.
eat, sleep, shit, study. it's all i do now, at least for the next 20 odd days. will someone please wake me up when my 'o's end? facebook's still a constant distraction. ipod too. it's so hard, to concentrate. i should find a way back soon.
wish you were here with me.
you're everywhere i go;
you're everything i see.
and we can't hide;
the faith in our eyes.
and we can't lie,
neither of us can deny.
corny; but true.
it's another 385 days, till the end of your 'o's, taking the end date as the same as mine.
we'll tahan. we will.

Red - Daniel Merriweather

Which to bury - Us or The Hatchet? - Relient K

2009-10-14T18:51:00.001+08:00

Which to bury - Us or The Hatchet? - Relient K.

I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget

and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened

And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for not

No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far

Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault

I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that

and wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)

what happened to us
i heard that it's me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't...

insomnia.

2009-09-21T01:48:00.000+08:00

it's been so long, isn't it. whoa, my last post proper was made like in july? HAHAH.
anyway, it's one plus in the morning and i can't get myself to sleep, again. like those other lazy weekends where i try to study, nothing fruitful actually comes out. instead i get trapped in my own little world of ipod and random playlists.
yeah, simple but tragic.
it's another 35 days 'o' levels and am i worried? i don't know for sure. it seems like i've done enough but as i reach for my pencil to write the answers for the ten year series questions, i still make the same mistakes. frustrating isn't it. the good thing's that, i've got company. studying with my peeps just seems a little more comforting than just staring blankly at the same monochrome words on the tys papers.
yes, omg, it's still only one plus and i can't pull myself to dreamland, no i can't.
i feel like calling up someone but that would just make me plain freaking selfish for compromising their sleep as well.
i can't fucking go to sleep, omg. sitting up in the bed, just thinking about every sixteen-year-old's worries and doubts and other what-have-yous. exams and other love-related troubles.
"oh if the sun revolved around the world, it'd make things so much simpler." infer from this source, sob. well, hitler, stalin and mussolini can go and kiss my ass.
arghhhhh, see! i didn't intend for this to be a long post but i've so much to say, so much to write. my hair's growing at a rate of 0.000000001cm/s. is it a minimum or maximum value? HA. ADDITIONAL MATH JOKE.
i'm still having the time of my life. 35 days to go and i'm looking forward to it.
while i'm at it, i got 22 points for my prelims L1R5. my target for 'o's : 7 points.
great. missed the target by just a teeny minute little FIFTEEN points. potest qui vult, definitely.
my left eye's been twitching the whole day and my right eye hurts like HELL. i've no idea why, mom said it's bad luck, i say it's eye-spasm. i can't find the moon and it's supposed to be the eighth month of the lunar calendar, where the hell is damn thing. new teacher Paul Robson at b.c. said people react differently to full-moon, hahah, hilarious guy he is.
oh. and happy birthday nicole ng bi zhen, fat fourteen. it's just alliteration, don't kancheonn.
yupp, the lights at the coffeeshop opposite my place are officially switched off! the neon lights keep me up. yeah i'm kidding. still breathing heavily at this unfortunate situation i am in right now leads me to think of my past years in st pat's. it's been truly awesome and no words can aptly describe my second-home. hope mr.lak doesn't mind though. heart and body, mind and soul. recall the times when i sat up during new year's eve just to watch avatar and the first sunset of the year, ALONE.
whoa, it'd be quite cool if i shared it with someone else, then it truly wouldn't have been a waste of time watching that circular, supernova rise beyond the flat, white clouds.
i better close my eyes and conceal my iris, and get back to forcing myself to sleep, i'll be at my cousin's tomorrow by noon. that means, 0830 get up to TRY and mugg.
i'm hungry so later i'll secrete glycogen from my islets of langerhans in my liver, HAHAHA. so long, nerds! your intellectual jokes won't fool me.

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls.

never say never - the fray

2009-09-09T22:31:00.002+08:00

this one's for those lovers out there, don't give up just yet!
you'll make it soon enough.

There're some things we don't talk about
Rather do without
And just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of
Together all the while

You can never say never
Why we don't know when
Time and time again
Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
[X2]

Picture you're the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
Steady your hand

You can never say never
Why we don't know when
Time, time and time again
Younger now then we were before

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
[X2]

We're pulling apart and coming together again and again
We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
[X4]

st francis prayer.

2009-08-08T23:11:00.004+08:00

i just wanna share this, it is the most beautiful prayer ever.

PEACE PRAYER OF ST FRANCIS.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

dream theater - the best of times.

2009-08-02T22:39:00.002+08:00

here's progressive metal for you people out there who have nothing to do.

Dream Theater - The Best of Times.
13:08
Black Clouds and Silver Linings.

Remember days of yesterday
How it flew so fast
The two score and a year we had
I thought would always last

Those summer days and west coast dreams
I wished would never end
A young boy and his father
Idol and best friend

I'll always remember
Those were the best of times
A lifetime together
I'll never forget

Morning shows on the radio
The Case of the Missing Dog
Lying on the pillows at the old 812
Watching Harold and Maude

The record shops, the stickball fields
My home away from home
And when we weren't together
The hours on the phone

I'll always remember
Those were the best of times
I'll cherish them forever
The best of times

But then came the call
Our lives changed forever more
"You can pray for a change
But prepare for the end..."

The fleeting winds of time
Flying through each day
All the things I should've done
But time just slipped away
Remember seize the day

Life goes by in the blink of an eye
With so much left to say

These were the best of times
I'll miss these days
Your spirit lit my life each day

Thank you for the inspiration
Thank you for the smiles
All the unconditional love
That carried me for miles
It carried me for miles

But most of all thank you for my life

These were the best of times
I'll miss these days
Your spirit lit my life each day

My heart is bleeding bad
But I'll be okay
Your spirit guides my life each day

download link here.
woots.

hair for hope '09

2009-07-12T19:55:00.001+08:00

don't judge people by the amount of hair they have on their heads!

children cancer foundation, ftw!

lltc A '09 OT experience

2009-07-05T23:17:00.003+08:00

hey lltc participants, OTs and world. from the 22nd june till 26th june, we had this lasallian leadership camp, short for LLTC. it is by far THE BEST camp i've ever facilitated. here are the highlights for each day. OT = organising team member.

Day minus one.
we met in st pat's for a short meeting, together with the secretariats and what we could do for the rest of the day. basically it was all about heritage play rehearsals and the singing of songs to get up all prepped up for the camp. yupp yupp, i was feeling all excited, just 3 days before the camp itself. woohoo!

Day zero.
we had some role playing facilitator-group discussion and a recap on how to handle a group of 12 people or so. the briefings were held today too. including walk the talk, where we briefed to walk from sji all the way to st pat's. daily morning run exercise routine, the routes and stuff. journey with the dream and the OT camp manual, full walk through.
Mahevey! the lltc a '09 dance was the bomb. we practiced long and hard for this dance and later on, heritage rehearsals. i played brother nicholas. one of La Salle's earliest brothers, but soon pang-seied La Salle anyway, 'cause Brother Nicholas felt that he could help the brothers no more. it is kinda sad actually. oh well. my co-facil is EDWIN LUKE WEE. some awesome dude who loves to camwhore, from sji. yes, he's cool. i had some st pat's guys in my group, Buckley that i knew, marcus, raziv, zhiqin. yeah, called them up and told them about the H1N1 situation and told them to take necessary precautions. a day in the life of an OT. :D

Day one.
reported to sji for the opening ceremony and ice breakers, registration. met some of the sji and sjii people for the very first time in my life. yeah, sji people were quite anti social at first but later, they mixed around anyway. after collecting all the ezlink cards, wallets, handphones, and all the other stuffs, we set off, for st patrick's school! it was a long walk, but nonetheless, it was fully fun. everyone talked to one another, including edwin and myself. totally random stuff, from girls to studies, from studies to CCAs. that's how fast we bonded as one group.
after having that long long walk, the participants went for a lecture while we OTs prepared for games. ted, brij and i were in charge of Bucky Mcballs. an awesome bucket game. and everytime a group came late, i would smash a waterbomb onto his/her body, to take responsibility for being on task. yeah. learning point! no, actually it was just pure fun. woots! later, after dinner, we had reflections. and lights out for the participants and OT meeting for us. day ended at 3am.

Day two. first day of morning run, edwin did the job while i slept till 7. after having our breakfast, we prepared our necessary equipment for ropes course. yeppppp. but i didn't have my shoes as they were wet, so i couldnt do any of the ropes activities. so tragically sad. gosh. another reason was that i've already been through this before, so. yeah. during the course, we could see that Buckley was a group, a team, for than anything else. they cheered each other on and yeah, that's an awesome thing to see as a facil. when we returned, we had dinner and poof! heritage play. we sang, laughed, screwed up but the participants cheered anyway. it was awesome. daniel acted as La Salle, so well done to him as well. La Julie was completely free of errors, well done la julie brothers too. good job all OTs on the whole for heritage play! after that, reflections took place in the band square, reflecting on all the La Salle's values and mission. truly a great man he was. lights out at 12am. OT meeting ended at 3.30 after everything was packed up. day ended at 4am.

Day three.
i went for morning run this time. and edwin started feeling a little unwell. after lunch, we headed down to kallang for dragonboating! it was drizzling and hell damn it. it was freaking cold. water droplets pelting across my face, with the chilly cool breeze coming shot after shot against my pale skin. i can almost recall the dread on everyone's faces. nonetheless, we still carried on, pushed our limits to its maximum and delivered an awesome effort, triumphed over all the other groups, both sagitaire and buckley. BUCKLEY IS THE SEX. :D after which, we briefed the actors for fast food, which was actually porridge, to remind us that there are poor people out there, and we must share solidarity with them. that's what my sub-comm is all about! solidarity! go go go! we had around 12 actors acting as old people selling tissue, beggars, poor kids and emo kids, walking around while the participants had their meal. it was honestly, the best moment of solids. lights out for participants at 1230am. 'cause they had to work on their journals and this project on how lltc has taught them a lesson and stuff. edwin was feeling unwell and so, i brought dinner and supper to him. he was having a fever of 39.8 degrees. hell, that's hot. yeah, i pretty much facilitated the group the whole day, oh well. hahahah. OT meeting ended at 3am. day ended at 3am. day ended at 3am.

Day four.
both edwin and i were too exhausted to get up and do mahevey with the participants, so... we slept through! after taking our breakfast, we changed into our OT shirts and particiapant camp shirts respectively and headed for Jamiyah home. we helped out by cleaning their utilities, like railings, and wheelchairs. it's a fun and learning process thing we do, to show that we actually care for the poor. as how La Salle cared. when we returned, john and i had a chance to share the song 'Lead The Way' with the participants. it's a song that paolo, sarah, john and i wrote together on one of the play rehearsal days. after that, my solids sub-comm! brij, wenquan and i started chioning for the powerpoint slides, music videos and program list for solidarity lasalliana. it turned out quite well.
go listen to a song called Our Lives by The Calling. :D solidarity did the reflections for the day and we've done averagely well. during preparation of solids, i wrote my affirmations on blank bicycle cards for my group. i hope they like it. my stupid co-facil even sabotaged me by writing some love-note to a sjii girl saying that i like her and even left my number there. what the hell. anyway, affirmations was completely insane. people started jumping, morshing, singing, shouting, hugging, talking, etc etc. lights out at 1230am, our group project's almost done! OT meeting ended at 3.30am. we slept at 5am 'cause we were talking to each other. :DDDDDDD.

day five.
both edwin and i did morning run together as it was the last day. after that, we had the mega summary in the hall, a compilation of all the projects that all the groups did. then later, closing ceremony. where sji, st pat's and sjii peeps got invested with their lasallian stealth fighter badge. woohoo! coolio. :D oh well, we got super super super super high again, sang Lead The Way, and passing on the passion. danced mahevey for the last time! and poof, they're gone. LLTC has thus ended.
in just a blink of an eye and it's over.
Buckley, HRRRGH, IS THE SEX. :D group cheer!
after that, the OTs had a debrief and dinner.
big thank yous to Ed, Kenny, all the mentors, all the OTs and participants.

yesterday.
OT nominations.
then super duper hangout at plaza sing. ice age three with 31 people. woohoo. largest movie outing EVER. (:
thanks guys.

LLTC A '09. best camp ever.
love love love.
signing off, ryan.

DSA.

2009-06-10T23:15:00.000+08:00

HEY WORLD.
i got offered DSA to TJC, via debates.
i am so excited.
anyway, Sara, Paolo, John Koh and I. WE WROTE THE SONG. for LLTC.
it's called lead the way. will post the lyrics when everything's recorded and patented and copyrighted, etc etc.
whoa, i soompa, the melody is pure genius, well done Sara, John, Paolo.
life's been tough during the hols. not much of a holiday anyway, since i have school practically every single day till 4 - 5pm, so... yeah. so many subjects, so little time. i realized how close i was to the 'O's today. it's really coming very VERY soon.
i've been working damn hard for PESA so. not blogging often or coming online often anymore. so if there's anything contact me via my cell.
differentiation and integration is the new age of additional maths. i desperately need help in organizing my time. i come home daily feeling fucking lethargic and retardedly tired. hell, you can't imagine. it's like headaches everyday.
saya still can tahan. anyway, it's just one phase of my life. let's go TJC, let's go debates.

"Cause it's been 18 days, since I first held you
But to me it feels just like, it feels like a lifetime
I'm trying hard to re-arrange, but some say it's the hardest thing to do
But that's another 18 days, without you"
- 18 days by saving abel.

no boundaries!

2009-06-07T19:03:00.003+08:00

i've been singing this song in my bathroom, i changed the lyrics abit.

No Boundaries. - Adam Lambert, Kris Allen.

seconds, hours, so many days,
you know what we want,
but how long can we wait.
every moment lasts forever,
if you feel you've lost your way,
what if my chances are already gone,
started believing that i could be wrong.
but you give me one good reason,
to fight and never walk away.

so here i am, still holding on.

with every step we climb another mountain,
every breath, it's harder to believe.
we'll make it through the pain,
weather the hurricane,
to get to that one thing.

just when you think the road is going nowhere,
just when i've almost gave up on my dreams,
i'll take you you by the hand,
and show you that we can,
there are no boundaries,
there are no boundaries.

you fought to the limit to stand on the edge,
what if today is as good as it gets,
don't know where the future's heading,
but nothing's gonna bring you down.
well i've jumped every bridge,
i've run every line,
we've risked being saved,
i always knew why,
i alwyas knew why.

so here i am, still holding on.

with every step we climb another mountain,
every breath it's harder to believe,
we'll make it through the pain,
weather the hurricane,
to get to that one thing.

just when you think the road is going nowhere,
just when i've almost gave on my dreams,
you'll take me by the hand,
and show me that i can,

we can go higher,
we can go deeper,
there are no boundaries,
above or beneath us,
break every rule 'cause,
there's nothing us and our dreams.

with every step we climb another mountain,
every breath, it's harder to believe.
we'll make it through the pain,
weather the hurricane,
to get to that one thing.

just when you think the road is going nowhere,
just when i've almost gave up on my dreams,
i'll take you you by the hand,
and show you that we can,

there are no boundaries,
there are no boundaries,
there are no boundaries,
there are no boundaries.

hand-typed. awesome song, awesome lyrics.

mixpod - 18 days

2009-06-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

但願人長久
dan yuan ren chang jiu,
千里共嬋娟
qian li gong chan juan.

we'll still see the same bright moon up there, no matter where we are.
do take care.
ARGH. i just realized there ain't internet access at mount kinabalu.
damn it.

you're already the voice inside my head, i miss you, (i miss you).
- blink 182, i miss you.

whoa.

2009-06-05T22:13:00.001+08:00

it's been a long week. and i have not been able to post much.
anyway, for mid years, i did moderately okay. passed every subject but flunked my combined humanities like hell. i got a C6 for the first time. improved TWO grades each in both maths, woot.
chinese 'o's was okay, i think i can get at least a B4. good enough i guess.
remedials have been going on everyday for the past week, from 8am till 4 or 5pm. tough secondary 4 life yeah. so tough that my mom decided to take me outta church. so now i'm only gonna attend church after 'o's. damn it, i know.
ipod's keeping me company for the whole lonely week. and my pals as well. table tennis and a whole lot of parkway food 'cause the canteen's closed.
i'm gonna attend PESA btw, it's this really prestigious speaking competition held every year by all the toastmasters and stuff. i hope i can cope with that plus my studies plus training all the debates juniors plus peer support.
NINTH IN CLASS. and the report book says, L1R5 : 27 points. HAHAHAH.
gotta work towards my 9 points goal and get to that tertiary institute.

please take care and hydrate yourself.
take nothing from there except memories and sights.
take care, love.

but i'd rather be here with you. - secondhand serenade, suppose.

2009-05-24T20:08:00.003+08:00

cliqueeeeeeeee.

people. kris allen won american idol. yes, he's awesome. adam's voice is way better but i prefer kris. he's more charismatic, cooler when he sings the song.
mid years are over. i've scored straight Cs and Bs. my results suck. and i think it's 'cause i spent too much time on math, neglecting the rest of my other subjects. 'o' level chinese is in one week time and i'm working hard now, to get an A1. so that i can use it for l1r5.
anyway, life's been alright, except that i've been suffering from a lip infection for a week now and countless ulcers in my mouth. owch. oh the stress of exams caused all of this. hope i get better soon. chemistry, physics and bio spa is also in one week's time. oh gosh, i don't know how i'm gonna cope.
OH. ANGELS AND DEMONS is an awesome book. awesome thriller, hell, everyone must read it and i've gotto catch the movie sometime soon. (:
hmmm, for those who have facebook, go do my quiz, how well do you know me?

i need to know you love me,

you'll make it through the pain,
weather the hurricane, to get to that one thing. - kris allen, no boundaries.

the day of suspense without achievement.

2009-05-16T23:46:00.004+08:00

'cause it feels like stealing hearts, calling your name from the crowd.
- dear maria count me in. all time low.

no, no, dear, I wasn't cowardly like a mouse.
just the fact that we were in your pastor's house.
and I would want to hold you too,
damn, my foot's hurting,
I should have brought my shoes.

Lookee: this one's for the youth, how would you define true love?

true love is trust.
trust that will stand the tests of time. trust that will lead the couple to happiness, not jealousy nor dishonesty. it means to always listen to each other, and to listen with empathy, sustaining that trust through communication.
true love is having faith in the love with your partner. sharing a common belief and the same feeling felt for each other.
Lastly, true love is about caring for each other no matter what.
with no conditions or any agenda, true love is one that will last.

my model answer.

2009-05-08T22:55:00.005+08:00

the touch of your hand lets me know that you love me,
right here with you is where I truly want to be.

Well, once there lived an egotistical boy. He loved his life like no other. Playful, random and constantly hyperactive, he strives for only the best although he knows he's not. He's just another ordinary student, facing stress, pressure and homework, daily from school. And when he's about to fall, his best friends are always there to pick him up, give him a hand and piggy-back him all the way through. His friends are the pillars in his life, forever standing, be it rain or shine.
He constantly puts in effort to affirm others, through influence and persuasion and that got him to where he is today. This person will fail physics, but he knows that it doesn't matter, 'cause everyone will love him anyway. A boy like him, believes in faith, hope and love. He pushes for peace.
And he'll do whatever it takes to be with her.
He loves her, it's obvious, isn't it?
He is but of course, the vice-pres of the peer support board, an awesome debater, that same, random, hyperactive and egotistical fella,

RYAN.

and he lived happily ever after, with his friends and his love.
the end.

..THANKS..
Sheri, Maxine, Fiona, Yeungwan, Jovi, John, Eugene, Darrel, Darren Tan, Daniel for making today possible, and the other very much loved people who wished me happy birthday.

they said, "what are you waiting for, kiss her, kiss her!".
- A little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me, fall out boy.

2009-05-03T22:46:00.004+08:00

my day, captured on imagery.

I was supposed to get up at 7am to study. but due to the fact that i slept at two, i only woke up at 11. damn it i know. later, i had breakfast AND lunch with my parents, then a movie with them. omg. it's somehow good to have them around paying for everything for a change. it has been so long since i last went out with them, omg.
X-men, origins, wolverine. yes. the plot is bullshit. but the action was pwnsome. i freaking soompa. wolverine had this really creepy yellow colored bone-like thing sticking out at first, before he had that indestructible shit put into him. antatanium i think it's called. oh whatever, anyway it was an awesome show. the saddest part was that he forgot about his wife 'cause he got shot by an antatanium bullet, making him forget his past and stuff.
when i finally got home, i picked up my social studies textbooks and poof.
omg, david tao is the best chinese singer i've ever known. that's why i borrowed the album from mom. yeah, 23 tracks of his music in one album. ONE.
CHINESE SOFT ROCK. WHOA. something new and refreshing yes? definitely. listen to his songs, especially this one.
there. this song's call ji mo de ji jie, or season of loneliness.
don't give up on chinese!
HUA YU COOL. xD

oh oh. my phone's recovered! you all can sms/call me now, and i'll reply/call you back. (:

I wanna scream iloveyou from the top of my lungs;
but I'm afraid that someone else might hear me...!
- the shipped (gold) standard, fall out boy.

inspiration and the r/s with god.

2009-05-03T00:15:00.006+08:00

it's amazing how people say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

and it was that friday on labour day, i woke up in the morning and went for breakfast and the nearby market. i saw this old couple. they were feeding each other food, and talking to one another about everything and anything in the world. from the global pandemic swine flu issue, to the memory of the previous night's dinner. and i know all these conversations took place 'cause i was sitting right next to their table. and it was easy to comprehend how this couple could stay this way for so long and yet, still have that undying love for one another. it is that amazing. at the local coffee shop, they kissed and helped each other up, and walked home together, hand in hand. well screw the rest of the jerks and assholes in the world. i believe, that true love still exists. i believe, that one day, people will come to realize that bad people will just fade away because their conscience calls them to do things right. their conscience tells them that they should do the right thing. and when this finally happens, no matter how long it takes for them to realize, it will occur. someday. and yet i don't want to go on and on about peace and love, but. these are the only two things now that holds this planet together. it's all peace, and love. and i believe, that true love will prevail. and that image of the old couple inspired me to think this way, oh the sweetness and time spent together by the couple. it has touched my heart.
today was just another day with my tuition buddies. we were once again, outnumbered. omg, british council has a weird way of setting up and allocating the right number of girls is to the number of guys ratio. there are like 16 girls and 3 guys in the class. well, yeah i know. reminds me of the supermarket quote. many choices, same great value.
anyway, went to the airport to eat. we didn't study. we couldn't study. not a very conducive environment for study group, omg. hahaha, the distractions and all.
i want lifenet to continue.
this is where the second picture comes in.
from what i can understand, a person's relationship with god is like a flower. if you care, love and nurture it to to the fullest, surely it will develop and become a beautiful flower. but if we don't water it, or care about it, it will just wither and die. the relationship will just fade away. i know, this is hard to believe that i am actually dwelling into the fact that the relationship and bible reading thing is becoming more and more important to me. everyone tells me, god should be our first priority. now all i need to know is how i am supposed to do that.
how do i make God my first priority.

my phone's destroyed, your sms-es will be entertained when my phone recovers, or when i get a new phone.

you don't know how much i miss you everyday.
you don't know how much i'm screaming inside for you to care.

2009-04-29T23:04:00.002+08:00

i thought of just posting a quick one 'cause just 10 minutes ago, i was putting up all the necessary requirements for the MOE external validation interview tomorrow.
they are not actually requirements but it'll be good to know them.
and yes, tomorrow we will be interviewed by a MOE guy and he'd probably ask us about our school, etc.
well.... i think christian rock is awesome. it'll take over the world someday with its totally kick-ass tunes. my phone's kinda screwed up.
DO NOT SEND ME ANYMORE MULTIMEDIA MESSAGES. I CANNOT RECEIVE THE DAMNED THING.
okay.

dinner-less with 5 hours of sleep, ryan.

2009-04-24T22:21:00.005+08:00

it's another picture post. can't be bothered to write stuff okay. omg.

chemicals, chemicals. we possess chemistry, my love. HAHAH.

paraphernalia of the trade.

my evening meal, duck rice.

saves me the trouble. woohoo.

updation.

2009-04-21T19:46:00.002+08:00

you know, it's been so long since i last put something regarding my daily life on this blog. hell, i've gotta start updating this thing before it becomes dead.
anyway, i've been actively involved in school.
studies.
peer support board.
graduating class programme.
my awesome debate club. :D
i think it's freaking draining the shit out of me. it's wearing me down, it's wearing me out. omg, plus on saturday, i have this tuition for english where my teacher complained to her senior teacher about me and another dude for not handing up out homework on time. it was like the first time i ever did that and straight away, without even thinking, she sends hakim and i to the senior fella. whoa. the senior teacher's a nice guy. but my current teacher? looks can kill. ohmygosh.
church is the love, god is the love. know it and believe it today.
anyway, debate has been stand down, unfortunately. i don't know whether i can finish teaching the juniors THE ART before julia gabriel's 2010. yeah, it's written prove here, they must get into the quarter-finals next year! bring my principal something shiny. (:
AND OH. did i mention i got 17th best individual speaker in the b division in julia gabriel's? yeah. and guess who got NINTH. HAHAH.
OH yeah. second thing. that day i was in social studies class. hey, maybe the world just needs one person to govern everything. and different countries in charge of different areas, like tourism. science technology. biomedical stuff. oil refineries and other cool areas that you can think of. eh. maybe think about it, it'll be kinda cool if you had just one country to focus in one area of the business enterprise and thrive in it, rather than what we have now.
increased competitiveness due to different markets and enterprises that cater to different people.
i should get back to my additional math now, since i screwed up my chinese compo and formal letter today. will post soon.
OH. third thing. look out for a brand new ST PATRICK'S SCHOOL DEBATES SOCIETY blog!
coming soon. i soompa. (:

just know i'm here, whenever you need me.
i'll wait for you to come back to me.

p.s. the global indian not cute luhhh. center-parted hairstyle plus that super-large blazer, like what the hell.

2009-04-18T23:35:00.002+08:00

MY AWESOME QUIZ.

Write the names of 21 friends you can think off the top of your head, And then answer the questions. Say you’re guessing if you don’t know, but at least guess on all of them. Once you are done, all these 21 people has to do it too. can choose to do it. (for those w/ blogs)

1. Jovi.
2. Eugene Chung.
3. Darren Tan.
4. John Koh.
5. Jason Poh.
6. Daniel.
7. Dominic Yong.
8. Sheri.
9. Maxine.
10. Wendy.
11. Aidan Woodford.
12. Gregory.
13. Jonas.
14. Trisha.
15. Hakim.
16. Fiona.
17. Sammy. (morrison. HAHAH.)
18. Gaius.
19. Jeffrey.
20. FuFei.
21. Brandon Hon.

--
How do you meet 7?
School, while playing table tennis one day.

What would you do if you and 15 never meet?
i would have one less friend to sit through the boring lessons of british council.

What would you do if 21 and 1 dated?
GAY.

Have you seen 17 cry?
no, but i've seen him gay.

Would 4 and 16 make a good couple?
don't know. fiona may not like john koh, john koh may not like fiona.

Do you think 11 is attractive?
holy crap. ARGH. nope.

What's 2 favourite colour?
his favourite COLORS are rojak. everything. ham-ba-lang, all inside.

When was the last time you talked to 9?
last night.

What language does 8 speak?
english, duh.

Who is 13 going out with?
either nicholas chin or gaius. HAHAHAH. kidding.

What age is 16?
15.

Would you ever date 3?
no. that would make me gay. i AM NOT gay. :D

Where does 18 live?
simei i think. or tampines. or. pasar ris? nah, i don't know.

What is the best thing about 14?
WHOA. sense of humour. HAHAH.

What would you like to tell 10 right now?
EH. we haven't talked in a long time.

What is the best thing about 20?
he's hilarious, typical class clown.

Have you ever kissed 2?
yuck. what the crap.

What's the best memory you have for 5?
HAHAH. tang-tang-tang-tang.

When's the next time you're going to see 4?
monday morning in the general office, or monday recess.

How is 7 different from 6?
7 is wild and legal. 6 is wild and not yet legal. legal i'm talking about age of consent, 18 years. do the math.

Is 2 handsome?
yeah, sure. he runs fast too, does that count?

What was your first impression on 15?
mr. nice guy, smoker, your average soccer dude.

How did you meet 3?
i met him in class last year. he was fatter then.

Is 1 your best friend?
yeah. maybe that's why his name came up first.

Do you hate 12?
sometimes, he can be really irritating.

Have you seen 18 in the last month?
yes. i saw him 2 days ago.

Have you been to 5's house?
no. but i wanna go!

When's the next time you'll see 10?
one of those study days.

Are you close to 14?
apparently not.

Have you been to the movies with 4?
yes. he's quite serious about movies.

Have you gotten in trouble with 8?
hmm.. good question. what's trouble to you?

Would you give 19 a hug?
of course. i hug anyone except tall ang-moh people.

When have you lied to 3?
all the time. HAHAH. so much for being a bitch.

Is 11 good at socializing?
yeah, i think so.

Do you know a secret about 8?
yes. i think i know, but i'm not sure.

Describe the relationship between 12 and 18.
i don't think they know each other, although. they are both quite similar in the way they do things. like design, color co-ordinations, drawing and artistic things.

What's the best thing about your friendship with 9?
we talk at random times but yet, we're able to comfort each other through whatever stuff we say. let's go maxine. *high pitched*.

Whats the worst thing about 6?
he may be over-confident at times but i'm sure he can change.

Have you ever had a crush on 13?
JONAS?! what the crap. NO.

How long have you known 2?
since last year? yupp.

Does 11 have a bf/gf?
yes. hahaha, and i know her name! HAHAHA.

Have you ever wanted to punch 1 in the face?
nope. i'm a nice, gentle and understanding. i won't go around punching my friends.

Has 21 met your mother?
no. i hope he doesn't, omg.

How did you meet 10?
british council. :D

Did you ever accidentally physically hurt 3?
NO WAY. HE hurts ME, INTENTIONALLY, HAHAHA.

Do you live near to 7?
no. he lives in erm. i don't know where he lives.

What's 8 favourite food?
it has to be chocolate, especially hersheys. if not, it'll be milk chocolate. and that sushi roe thing, let's just say she likes fish as well.

What kind of car does 1 have?
WHOA. he wants to be a pilot when he grows up so.... a boeing 777 porsche!

Have you ever travelled anywhere with 10?
to orchard, i think.

If you gave 14 $100, what would 14 spend it on?
shoes, bags, makeup and a whole lot of other girl things.

THERE.

2009-04-12T01:06:00.002+08:00

happy Easter everyone. remember this day, people. for He died for us and now, He's risen. celebrate okay.
let's go buy our bunny eggs and kinder surprise with the toy inside, no toy no surprise.
omg, i can't sleep. i think i'll be stuck to my ipod till the next morning.

we look like a couple,
and we can be one too.
let's get together love,
just say 'i do'.

we can study together what.

Love is when you break a chocolate bar in two, and give someone else the smaller piece 'cause you know she can't finish the whole thing herself.

2009-04-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna do this quiz. like now.

1.What have you been doing recently ?
i've been listening to my ipod, drinking coke like thrice a day just to keep myself awake, omg.

2.Do you ever turn your cell phone off ?
no, 'cause if people need me in the night, i'll be there. :D

3. What happened at 10am today ?
i was rushing to my tuition place in orchard, and guess what. i was late.

4. When did you last cry ?
hell, why do they always have this question. last year, when my great granny passed away.

5. Believe in fate/destiny ?
yes.

6. What do you want in your life now ?
TIME.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
put up my hood when i'm alone, when i'm with someone, umbrella.

8. What’s your favourite thing to do on the bed ?
sleep.

9. What bottoms are you wearing now ?
victoria school shirt with my lovely boxers.

10. What’s the nicest things in your inbox ?
erm, secret.

11. Do you tend to make your relationship complicated ?
no. why would i.

12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone ?
yes. that hairband. [:

13. What was the last movie you caught ?
race to witch mountain.

14. What are you proud of ?
honestly? myself. it's self-confidence.

15. What does the oldest text msg in your inbox say ?
'how was your test?'. i think that was during term assessment? yeah.

16.What was the last song you sang out loud ?
check yes juliet, duet on the phone! HAHAHAH.

17. Do you have any nicknames?
chong. ryan.

18. What does the newest text say?
'tomorrow can? i'm very sleepy now.'. 'cause i was asking that fella for my photos.

19. What time did you go to bed last night ?
1am.

20. Are you currently happy ?
quite.

21. Who gives you the best advise?
my e.math/a.math/form teacher, mdm soh.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can ?
whoa. i'm getting myself canned whipped cream tomorrow.

23. Who did you talk on the phone last night ?
sheri.

24. Is something bugging you now?
hmm...

25. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
sheri.

26. Who do you miss most now?
who else, sheri.

27. What are you gonna do after this quiz is completed?
erm. sleep.

28. What are you gonna have for breakfast tomorrow?
bread.

29. What kind of books do you read?
currently? the bible.

30. Will you be posting this on your Blog/Facebook?
WHAT THE HELL. of course lah.

okey. that's done. ciao people.

2009-04-04T23:47:00.001+08:00

Panic! At The Disco.
The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage.

Sit tight, I'm gonna need you to keep time, come on just snap snap snap your fingers for me.
Good good, now we're making some progress come on just tap tap tap your toes to the beat.
And I believe, this may call for a proper introduction.
And well, don't you see? I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue.

Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen.
Oh we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes
Trophy boys, trophy wives.

Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen
Oh we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes
Trophy boys, Trophy wives

Applause! Applause! No, wait wait...

Dear studio audience,
I have an announcement to make.
It seems the artists these days are not who you think.
So we'll pick back up on that on another page.

And I believe, this may call for a proper introduction.
And well, dont you see? I'm the narrator and this is just the prologue.

Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen.
Oh we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes
Trophy boys, trophy wives.

Swear to shake it up and you swear to listen
Oh we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes
Trophy boys, trophy wives.

Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen.
Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen.
Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen.
Swear to shake it up, swear to shake it up.

Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen.
Oh we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes
Trophy boys, trophy wives.

Swear to shake it up and you swear to listen.
Oh we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be... your eyes.

church was lovely. (:

hell, i should have said this to you, during church.
it's okey, sweetheart.
'cause i know this love is real, at least it is for me.

friday, the 3rd.

2009-04-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

it's kinda frustrating to know your alarm clock screws up on an important day like today. founder's day. yeah, we're talking about that half-day packed with prayers, songs and student leaders marching in to be invested. and i missed HALF of it.
HALF.
then we received this bag as a founder's day souvenir which varies every year. last year it was a bottle or smth. two years ago, a shoe bag. hell, they don't have any originality, it ALWAYS comes in green and white. yupp, that's the color of of founder. i mean, our founder's belief.
the whole founder's day event ended at around 9. we had cake from marcus. yeah, some cake his aunt made and i SOOMPA, i was damn hungry. oh my goodness. i ate two slices okey. i NEVER do that. i used to only eat half. now, TWO.
prepared for speech day. it was quite boring throughout the whole thing 'cause, it was mainly about giving out awards and prayers and speeches made by guests of honour.
got my shiny gold thing from the guest of honour, for sustained achievement in combined humanities. yeah, i kept scoring A1. and i'll continue to that for this year, don't worry. xD .
pingpong's awesome.
i gotta get my lltc solids stuff done, ciao.

wanna cure insomnia?
drink warm milk, works every time.

the badge.

2009-03-31T20:23:00.005+08:00

yeah.
that look on your face, my fellow sec 3 peer leaders who didn't make it.
it hurts me as much it hurts you, taking that badge from you. I could barely see tears coming out of your eyes.

and happy birthday, sweetheart. 30th march, greatest day.
(:

oh btw, my freaking internet's screwed. how i am able to post this is 'cause of my dad's awesome usb internet thing. so yupp.
peace to the world, love. and ciao.

whoa, the wily, little fox.

2009-03-28T22:34:00.000+08:00

whoa! , the wily, little fox!

adopt your own virtual pet!

week of march hols

2009-03-26T18:22:00.000+08:00

MY BAD alright. i'm just too darn pre-occupied with school.
i'm starting to take my 'o' levels more seriously. i realized that, this exam happens to be very important to me, and that employers will look at this cert over anything else, unless you have a degree.
anyway, i spent my march holidays, mostly in school.
16th march, monday.
three words. awesome, fun and nostalgic.

then the next two days, i had to go to school, for a biology science practical exam. it's 'o' levels, mind you. and hell, it was difficult. you're supposed to determine the optimum pH of the bloody enzyme.

wednesday!
had that peer support leaders' training where we learnt how to deal with dyslexic, ADHD and autism kids. yupp, we're supposed to care and teach them, with patience. i don't know if I can do that really.

i'll post the thursday and friday stuff in another post.

saturday and sunday!
okey.! our first official lltc A OT retreat. i'm part of the heritage play and i get to act as a brother. brother Nicholas. unbelievable? yeah i know.
sunday church was awesome. songs and praise.
you know, sometimes i wonder. why are people SO passionate about God.
is He really the salvation to everything.
i'm still trying to find that answer. and it feels so weird putting this up here on this blog, omfg.

yeah, this quiz's interesting. i'll end off with this.

A : You like to drink.
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : One in a million.
E : Unbelievably great in bed.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You are Quirky.
I : Great In Bed.
J : People Adore you.
K : You're wild and crazy.
L : Unbelievably great in bed.
M : Best kisser ever.
N : You like to drink.
O : Awesome kisser.
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
R: Unbelievably great in bed.
S : Easy to fall in love with.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgemental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : Best boy/girlfriend any one can ask for.
Z : You really like to chill

R: Unbelievably great in bed.
(mmhm.)
Y : Best boy/girlfriend any one can ask for.
(WHOA.)
A : You like to drink.
(yes.)
N : You like to drink.
(if my principal reads this, i actually like to drink WATER.)

C : You are really silly.
(i'd term this as hyper-activeness.)
H : You are Quirky.
(at times, yeah.)
O : Awesome kisser.
(HA. try me.)
N : You like to drink.
(this quiz has no originality.)
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
(this depends.)

picture post, rgs-vs convention.

2009-03-25T19:24:00.000+08:00

picture post of the two-day convention held in VS, co-organized by RGS.

facebook quiz.

2009-03-15T19:26:00.002+08:00

Here's the rule.
Tag 15 people to do the same thing.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
NO. ryan means little king. :D

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
last year, when my great-grandmother passed away.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
yeah. it's skinny, inky and hell awesome.

4. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
what's that supposed to mean. i've a brother though.

5. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
depends on whether i like me. damn, that doesn't make sense.

6. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
occasionally.

7. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
yeah.

8. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
YES. did it, had fun. DID IT AGAIN. and will do it again. [:

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
koko crunch. ...... and poof! it became koko crunch. (with that sweet chocolaty taste!)

10. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
no.

11. THIS IS A FREE ONE, PUT ANYTHING:
whatever happened to love and peace.

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
island creamery, nutella. :D WOOHOO.

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
that smile.

14. RED OR PINK?
red.

15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
this is a sensitive question. i'm not exactly tall.

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
it's a girl i miss.

17. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
yeah, but i don't think they will. they'll probably run out of patience like how i'm running out patience now.

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
black shorts, barefoot.

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Not listening to any right now.

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
white. 'cause that way it'll somehow make me the one that spreads the other colors around, shades of red, black, grey are formed by me.

21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
HAHAHAH. eclipse.

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
sheri.

23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
erm. i don't know the fella?!

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
soccer, i guess.

25. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
nope. glasses are cool. contacts are cooler, maybe next time i'll wear them.

26. FAVORITE FOOD?
western. steak plus that crispy potato thing.

27. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
SCARY ENDINGS. these endings leave your mind wandering, and allows your imagination to go POOF.

28. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
push. whoa. it's a damn cool movie.

29. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
white.

30. SUMMER OR WINTER?
winter.

31. HUGS OR KISSES?
kisses./

32. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
melissa.

33. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?!
jovi ong. omg, he hasn't updated since last december man.

34. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
tough one. hmmmmm..... NOTHING.

35. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
hartman.----130 years---- of memorable journeys. yeah i know. WHAT THE HELL.

36. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
the dinosuars!

37. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
music. my orange ipod. woot.

38. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?
daisy. daisies represent affection and inner beauty.

39. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
japan, hokkaido.

40. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
card magic. plus debating.

41 WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
thomson medical.

42. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
don't know.

43. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
hmm. significant other? not yet, dear blogger. not yet.

44. TAG 15 PEOPLE.
anyone who's free.

that life changing 25 things.

2009-03-13T00:18:00.000+08:00

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1. I attend british council.

2. When I talk to my granny, i have to shout, cause she cant hear me.

3. I adore my baby brother, aiden.

4. I actually find newsweek enriching.

5. 'whoa' is my favorite line.

6. I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, as in really LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE the colors orange and green.

7. I'm a peer support leader, in the saint patrick's peer support board, the best freaking group of leaders in school. (to me)

8. i'm kinda lazy.

9. I am very contented with what i have now, as in only the materialistic things.

10. I'm only doing this cause' i was bored while doing probability homework.

11. I love my steak done medium-rare. (go carnivores.)

12. I love my awesome best friends, eugene chung, john koh, daniel chan, jovi, darren tan, jason poh, andre chua. pillars of my life .

13. I'm a debator.

14. I used to be really good in chinese but now i suck in it.

15. I get super hyper-active when it comes to outings and peer support related activities.

16. I think i'm skinny enough to get into a 28 inch waistline pair of pants.

17. OMG. I USED TO BE FAT. ask my sec one friends.

18. I prefer sunsets to sunrises. cause' sunrise means you have to get up early, and i'd probably be too tired to watch it. so sunsets are more awesome.

19. some people call me 'chong' cause it's easy to pronounce.

20. I like white daisies. It represents innocence, affection and inner beauty.

21. I'm straight.

22. I may become a doctor, a lawyer, a psychologist or a teacher. or all of the above.

23. I love drama. english drama. my english drama. my english language drama and debating society. [ELDDS].

24. I see loads of potential in our sec 3 peer leaders.

25. Racial harmony's a must, no more 'what color, what color' okay, i'll do my part, you'll do yours.

world peace, let's go. post your random 25 things today.

be my escape, my love.

2009-03-08T19:58:00.000+08:00

so it goes, yet another lonely day.

dreams in my sleep, music in my ears and that familiar face embedded in my mind.
sweetheart, be my escape.

the late post.

2009-02-28T23:59:00.005+08:00

i'm not heavy, i'm your brother.

would you look at that. i have it in writing!

this is regarding the awesome PEER SUPPORT PROGRAMME (16th february) we organized for the secondary one students. we put up a skit, teaching the sec ones the school values and virtues and all that other holy, school stuff. i acted as the main character, Andre. this story goes like this: it was Andre's second week of school... etc etc.
HAHAHAHA. the best part was that, i actually blended in with the secondary ones before the skit began. i told them i was a new student and all. all the props were perfect. my size, my school bag and my short pants. OMG. short pants. yeah. can't seem to forget that.
well done peer support crew, we did a great job! ha, and that's darren and i in that photograph. oh memories like these make my secondary school life fulfilling man.

OH YEAH. last saturday, 21st february, i attended a speaking competition at ACJC called the Orator's Trophy. the main theme was humanity and there were sub themes given.
it's an impronto speech, you're given 5 minutes to prep and you have to speak for 3 minutes.
my first round was the topic: anger.
my second round, pain.
the first two rounds i got through were the preliminary rounds but my teacher and i both felt that i'm too serious, too much debates style makes you lose the public speaking flair and dramatic style.
even so, i got into the semis, top 15 mind you, hahahah. the topic was discrimination. nahh, it was crap, i spoke about people eating roti prata and char kway teow mixed together, hence the term racial harmony and our vibrant and colorful rojak society.
it's bullshit, i know. expect nothing less from me, damn it. hhahaha.
didnt get into the finals but well! the following monday, the teacher gave me a embarrassing welcome and asked the principal to hand me my awesome cert. there's 2 cca points recorded, i'm now nearer to an A1 cca grade, HA.

all these are keeping me up! argh, can't sleep, can't eat. what's next. screw it.
i've still got my chem, bio, history and a.math paper this coming week, let's go, let's go.

2009-02-27T23:55:00.002+08:00

it's not my fault okey.
i've been busy coping with all my stuff at school, hence the absence of updating this bloody blog. btw, today i wore my school uniform for 19 hours straight, OMFG.
yeah, see. i got myself involved drama, debates, peer support and my freaking 'o's are this year man. omfg, how am i going to cope. ARGH. i'll tahan now and think about this problem later.
anyways, today i had the debating competition and i did first prop and reply speech. it went fairly well, split score between st pat's and nan hua. yeah. st pat's have been quite lucky to have gotten schools like nus high and nan hua for the first two rounds. yes we won both. that's good right. our side got best speaker, the opposition was crapping their case.

well well, sac won their maris stella school as well, same motion and all but different side. yupp yupp it was unanimous.
and hell, i'm beginning to feel damn tired recently damn easily. and my stomach's like hurting my ribs, probably cause i didnt have food or something. it really hurts, omg.

good job sheri. (:
good job team st pat's.
oh yeah. and after the debate, i got into a bus full of girls. as in i was the only guy in an sac bus OMG.
all that euphoria and noise. yeah, i think back and see myself behaving that way too, hahah.
had awesome dinner, and my eyes are half closed now, darn tired.
and look. it's five minutes to midnight.

and there're no stars in the night sky, damn.
sleep well world, for tomorrow's a brand new day.
ciao, peace out.

suraj's quiz.

2009-02-20T10:12:00.004+08:00

Look here, people. i've been sick for the past what, 5 days? caught the flu, then had some damn painful sore throat. now, i'm running a fever at 38.4 degrees. and i'm bored, stuck at home. here it is, suraj.

1.Who's the person who tagged you?
Suraj.

2.Relationship between you and him/her?
friends.

3. 5 impresions of him/her?
1. full time rocker.
2. skinny.
3. metal is his life.
4. influential. (he made me listen to HIS metal stuff.)
5. he's a drummer.

4.if he/she become your enemy you will?
unlikely.

5.what will you say to the person you like very much?
i love you, i really do.

6.A characteristic i like about myself?
enthusiastic about almost everything.

7.A characteristic i hate about myself?
i'm lazy.

8.For the person whom you hate, you say?
fuck off.

9.What do you feel about yourself?
i feel sick, feverish and certain degrees of pain in my throat.

10.Your crush?
can't tell .

11.Most ideal person you wanna be?
just Ryan Chong!

Pass this one to 10 people:
1.Jovi.
2.Eugene Chung.
3.Jason.
4.John.
5.Darren Tan.
6.Dominic.
7.Wendy.
8.Yeungwan.
9.Nicole Lim.
10.Fiona.
[i did this by random.]

13.If 5 and 7 were together?
what the fuck!? darren and wendy?! omg!

14.who does 5 like?
i think he's gay. HAHAHA.

15.what colour does 9 like?
erm, yellow?

16.Say smth to 8.
mrowr.

17.Who is 2?
He's the President of st pat's peer support, he's in track and field, he's super random, he is EUGENE.

18.Talk about 3.
he's paranoid about people being sick.

19.who is 10's best friend?
i'm not sure. it could be kimberly maxine.

20.whose the sexiest among the 10?
all look awesome.

21.what color does 4 like?
probably red?

22.Is 4 single?
yes.

23.your relationship with 1?
friends!

24.Are 5 and 6 best frewns?
see, there's a clique.
darren, jovi, john, daniel, jason, eugene, dominic and me. and that's a yes, btw.

25.9's nickname?
MAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

26.7's surname?
Deneris Zhang!

27.say something to 4.
table tennis anytime soon?

28.say something to help 10.
it's better to know someone better before sacrificing time for him.

29.who does 1 admire?
that's confidential, between him and me.

30.where does 8 live?
i have no idea.

31.among 10 of them who do you like?
i like all of them.

32.Say something to 6 when you see him/her.
XOXO, what's up yo!

33.10's spouse?
i don't think she has a spouse at the moment. hahaha.

there. boredom relieved. now back to sleeping.
ciao people.

crucial dilemma

2009-02-10T21:40:00.006+08:00

will it be drama, or debates. i'll have to choose by tonight and i can't do both.
damn it.

my favorite song, secret valentine by we the kings.
how i wish for...

Soft kiss and wine what a pretty friend of mine
We're finally intertwined
Nervous and shy for the moment we will come
Alive tonight

Secret Valentine

We'll write a song
That turns out the lights
When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside
Don't waste your time
Speed up your breathing
Just close your eyes
We'll hope it's not for nothing at all

Lay down be still
Don't worry talk they will
I'll be loving you until
Morning's first light
Breaks tomorrow
I'll take care of you tonight

Secret Valentine

We'll write a song
That turns out the lights
When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside
Don't waste your time
Speed up your breathing
Just close your eyes
We'll hope it's not for nothing at all

When guilt fills your head
Brush off rise up from the dead
This is the moment that we
Will come alive
Brace yourself for love
Sweet love, secret love.

We'll write a song
That turns out the lights
When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside
Don't waste your time
Speed up your breathing
Just close your eyes
We'll hope it's not for nothing at all (x2)
Nothing at all

2009-02-08T22:15:00.007+08:00

that awesome pair of soft toy shoes that i got for aiden.

see that heart shaped bee hoon thing?

i don't have a life on sundays.
i can't believe i actually spent freaking 4 hours studying today. i got through additional math, english and social studies. kudos to ryan, damn it.
anyway, i went out after studying a WHOLE LOT, and got some shoes for my little brother. mom got pissed off cause' she says these shoes are for infants and my brother happens to be a toddler. omg, imagine that. that's $35 of cuteness. yupp, that pair of elephant and the other indecipherable thing cost $35.
okay. had laksa for lunch. and somehow. there was a heart shaped thing formed by the strands of bee hoon. it's like PHENOMENAL.
OMG, when was the last time you saw corny stuff appearing in your bowl? NONE RIGHT.
HELL YEAH. i had to take a photo.
exams approaching and there're two more rounds of JG's to win for.
will it be
a. debates?
b. drama?
c. studies?
d. peer support?
e. all of the above?

(e.)

yes. school tomorrow. stick to the plan guys, peer support programme to impress mr jo.pete so well that he'll have to entrust the sec one OC and PLTC back to the awesome peer leaders.
good luck sec 3s, good luck excos, and pray to god everything will turn out fine.
indivisa manent, PSLs.

secret valentine, sweetheart.

that ridiculous quiz.

2009-02-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

kimberly koh tagged me; i'm doing this cause' i'm bored, not cause' she tagged me.

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
American's Suitehearts - Fall Out Boy.
[what the hell.]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Lips of An Angel - Hinder.
[yeah, i like a girl's smile, yadayadayada.]

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
What A Catch, Donnie - Fall Out Boy.
[hmmmm. that doesn't make any sense.]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
All Again For You - We The Kings.
[yeah sure, doing all the weird and crazy things again? ]

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Learning To Fall - Boys Like Girls.
[yes. correct.]

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Bliss (I Don't Wanna Know) - Hinder.
[HAHA, i am just pure bliss to them, yeah.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Thrashed and Scattered - Avenged Sevenfold.
[HAHAHAHAHA.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Love Hurts - Incubus.
[yes. i now realize this is NOT suppose to make any sense.]

WHAT IS 2+2?
Supermassive Black Hole - Muse.
[scientifically speaking, a black hole is this.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Blood Brothers - Iron Maiden.
[yeah peer support, blood brothers!]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz.
[exactly!]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Dance Hall Drug - Boys Like Girls.
[holy shit.]

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Someday - Plain White T's.
[someday what!]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Chapter Four - Avenged Sevenfold.
[i see a book in someone i like?!]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Learning To Live - Dream Theater.
[i think this should be "Dance With Death - Iron Maiden".]

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Warmness On The Soul - Avenged Sevenfold.
[awesome song to dance to, it's ballad.]

HAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Run To The Hills - Iron Maiden.
[HAHAHAHA, run to the hills? i'm dead, still run what!]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Lolita - Stereophonics.
[ermmmm. what's this mean? ]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Take The Time - Dream Theater.
[gosh, this is weird.]

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I Won't See You Tonight Part 1 and 2 - Avenged Sevenfold.
[it had to be this song.]

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
The Anthem - Good Charlotte.
[no. i will not die like that.]

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Decode - Paramore.
[i didnt decode the love.]

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Chinese Democracy - Guns and Roses.
[HAHA. i'm laughing at how ridiculous this quiz is.]

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy.
[i cry when people don't care, no. i don't cry.]

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Nobody - Five For Fighting.
[i want to be married leh.]

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
This Is Our Town - We The Kings.
[...]

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Secret Valentine - We The Kings.
[*hums tune of this song*.]

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Crush - David Archuleta.
[don't know./]

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Waiting - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
[yeah, waiting DOES hurt.]

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Wake Up - Lost Prophets.
[but i wanna sleep!]

TEN PEOPLE TO TAG?
anyone.
anyone who's bored.

jg's prelim round 1.

2009-02-06T23:49:00.003+08:00

this house believes that professional sports players should have salary caps.
proposition.
during the course of the entire week, we couldn't decide who's going to speak cause we had 2 good speakers, greg and caleb, and 3 average speakers, benedict, aidan and myself. so in the end, after much squabble and all that bullshit, we've decided on benedict, greg and me. i'd do third anyway, and i kinda screwed up this time. there were points of contention. and the thing is, i only got to know the entire case today. it was fucking last minute, i swear. whatever it is, we still won, but i had failed the team.
i had failed to attack the points of the opposition, and instead of persuading with style, i went up with at least 30 ladies and gentlemen, and my words all stuck together like glutinous rice. then i was speaking so freaking quickly that i had no time to organize my points, i didnt do it properly, i just, i had failed the team.
for that i apologize. sorry team. what i will do is that i'll continue doing my very best for the team and let's get thru prelims okay.
let's go team.
saint pat's debates, let's go.
eugene, happy birthday. to hell with this, there're like at least 4 birthdays in march. omg omg. jovi, jason, daniel, john. okay okay. getting presents soon, just you wait.

hope you'll like it, it's special! one and only in singapore.
and please, don't let any other fuckers break those bands of yours, damn it.

thanks people who came to support saint pat's debates.
woot woot.

humanities.

2009-02-01T14:14:00.003+08:00

yesterday we had this amazing race thingy organized by kc.

it's called the humanities challenge, where we'd run around the whole of singapore in search of places and doing random national education questions.
so there we were, jovi, darren, eugene and i met at the marine terrace hawker center at around 645am in the morning, and we ate breakfast. soonafter, daniel came. the five of us, after having our breakfast moved off to kc, which was just round the corner.

and then, the teachers in charge confiscated the phones and kept it in a place which was safe from thieves and stuff and left one with us, in an envelope, sealed. and she said, if we get lost, we're allowed to tear up the envelope and use the phone. before we began on our journey, we were given a task on the singapore things. like, which president's ashes are put in the mandai colomburium. what the hell!? lucky for us and the rest of the teams, there were like lines under the actual answer, so we could just guess, oh oh, wee kim wee.

freaking confused us, the teachers, the final word was supposed to be a compilation of the triangles and circles stuff of each question we answered, but in the end it was some tikam tikam answer. we got lucky.

then we left for our first clue which said: terminal one's sequel. holy crap, isn't that terminal two? and there was a picture of a pair of glasses. so, viewing gallery of terminal two. there, we took a bus down, raced with the other 3 kc groups and got there. oh btw, st hilda's and telok kurau secondary school were the first schools to leave kc.

then completed the task, and left for some riddle thingy, little india. whoa, competitive kc groups were running against us. we ran from one mrt station red line to another, purple line to get to the little india place where we had to eat this indian food. OMG, it fucking sucked.

yupp, our next stop was the ang mo kio hub, took a train there, and while we were in the mrt, we planned our route carefully, with jovi as our navigator, and daniel as our scout. the moment we arrived at ang mo kio, we ran towards the shopping mall and saw the people in black, they're called marshalls. yeapp, they give us clues, quizzes and a whole lotta of stress. we did our thing, finished the quiz and and left for the singapore flyer.

mind you, we didn't eat anything throughout the whole race, only water and red bull.
there we were, we alighted from city hall mrt, and ran to the singapore flyer. it was damn far. we ran and ran. and we sweat it out like some dogs. and we arrived, got there. rushed into popeyes and got a drink. then at exactly 1pm, we went looking for the marshalls, cause 12.30pm to 1pm's supposed to be lunchtime but of course, we didnt eat. we separated red beans from green beans and counted the number of V's in a bloody V for Vendetta paragraph. then! we got our next clue which looked something like buangkok.

hell, that's where my granny lives! so we took the purple line again, to buangkok and did the weirdest activity. okay, so there's two rocks. and the marshalls give you a piece of newspaper. you're supposed to fit the five of us in the piece of newspaper to get from one rock to the other. whoa. i'm small! that's good cause, we hugged each other like some gays and we completed it, smelling one another. omg, that was fun.
next the clue read, europe in association with asia.

"it had to be the eurasian association", darren thought. so yeah, we left for ceylon road and got there in time. this is where people dressed me up like freaking marlon brando and tuxedo and stuff using trash bags, newspapers and straws. omfg! shit. that was damn ticklish. we then left for kc.

we have completed every single station. we came in second for the race.
after an hour, the results for the quizes were tabulated and we came in champions for the the ne humanities thing that kc organized.
and whoa whoa, darren's friend is prettyyyy.
we left for the airport and sent nathaniel off.
will post photos when i get them. :D

yupp yupp, that's my saturday i'll never forget.
thanks daniel, jovi, darren, eugene. you've made my day, woot.
ciao for now.

2009-01-27T01:36:00.002+08:00

whoa. the time now is 1.36am. and i'm still awake!
i think i'm gonna sleep after this post. here's to you mel, the freaking sun was only 25% covered today, hence resulting in a partial solar eclipse. so, you couldn't see the whole thing being covered. it would have been a beautiful sight though.
went around visiting today, tradition rules and stuff. got my mandarin oranges ready and poof, we were off.
first stop was my grandmother. okay, she's old. whatever, got it done, did the usual stuff and there, we are family again. cause' between my paternal granny and i, there's not much talking and conversation going on, and i hardly visit her so, yeah. chinese new year's a time when we get together and eat. (did i mention eat?) yeah, loads of the pineapple tarts and roasted cashew nuts. yum.
second stop was my uncle's place, (where i stayed for the night). yupp, awesome place they had, and the most wonderful red bean soup EVER. omg, it's sooooo good okay. it's not sweet yet it's so tasty. yeah.
third stop was my erm, relative's place? yeah, so we went there and got a little lost after my cousins started running around the playground. block 27 became block 28 to my aunties and the unit was 06-091 and we switched it to, 09-601. so it became damn confusing. dad came and solved the whole thing.
"follow me," he said.
fourth. my second uncle? yeappppp. whoa, there's this hyperactive dog and 4 hyperactive uncles and aunties playing mahjong, leaving me bored to tears watching 'catch me if you can' on channel 5. OMG, so bored sia.
fifth, back to my uncle's place. yeap yeap, awesome day it was.
my australian cousin wasn't amazed by my magic! argh, she knows too well, damn.
then throughout the day, there was this question which was continually probed and shot at me; "eh ryan. where's your girlfriend?"
oh god, they HAD to ask me this question at this time yeah.
even my parents came up to me and told me; "hey son, bring your girlfriend home?".
my parents. the very people who objected to the idea of me having a girlfriend asked me to bring a girl home. that's like total liberation already.
but of course, my standard answer was "erm, nope. don't have one."
yeapppppp. thanks for viwawa. zany bridge not today. i'm tired, ugh!

I hope that by the next lunar new year, i'll be able to hold your hand and walk into my place and say, "hey parents, relatives, this is my girlfriend." .

it's just a thought though.

2009-01-25T23:55:00.001+08:00

yupp yupp.
five minutes to midnight.
happy lunar new year!
coincidentally, 26th january, please look up during 4pm to 6pm for a solar eclipse. it'd be damn awesome, trust me.
had my reunion dinner but it didnt fill me up that much cause the food was crap at this restaurant called G7. yeap, food was crap, so i didnt eat. and half the time i was playing with the internet connection, blog-hopping and stuff.
i'm gonna fascinate many of my relatives including my australian cousins with my magic. the "whoas! and HOW'D YOU DO THAT.". yes, i'm looking foward to that.
chinese new year's a time of awesome food like pineapple tarts and egg rolls, please don't fall sick and eat. omg. this is the time when we truly gorge ourselves with goodies, sweets and snacks. glorius food, woohoo.

i don't wanna stay in the darkness, cause' i belong to you.

23 + 24

2009-01-24T23:59:00.004+08:00

the friday, 23rd january.

the excos invested the juniors with their all new peer leader badge. hope this 09' batch will bring forth the goodness of the peer support board and glorify it like no other.
i hope, that they will forever bring the board in good light and go forth to serve and to lead others.
and most importantly, i have faith, that after lltc 09', they will become leaders of men, and servants of god. let's go peer support.
then after the whole investiture thing, jovi, eugene, darren, nathaniel, sean tan, jason poh and myself, we went to cathay for a movie.
we ended up watching red cliff 2.
this was a movie about the three kingdoms, where shu and wu combined forces and took down the wei forces. with the clever tricks up zhou yu and zhuge liang's sleeves, they managed to summon wind and got the weather to their advantage. this awesome movie's a must watch for chinese new year. and hell no, darren tan and eugene.
I AM NOT SADISTIC. hahaha.
we then followed nat to magic hall to get magical stuff *ahem*, and we got stuff. sean tan got 2 decks of masters and i nearly bought a red rider back. damn.
i have to get that, damn it. sat down for lunch and darren and i ate good, tender chicken rice and started telling me that i'd go to hell for tricking people into believing in my magic, oh please. just, let it go will you, ha.
there there. penned down my thoughts already. good. got it in writing, someday i'll look back at this blog and laugh.

24th january.

hey world.
today is officially chinese new year eve. but i just don't feel the same festive mood i felt last year. i don't know why but yeah.
congratulations alvidyan and aaron leong for getting their positions in eldds, pres and vice pres respectively. though i much wanted that spot, alvidyan, i'm fine with you in charge. so! year 2009, what lies ahead. exams, retests and freaking studies.
on the other hand, i have 14 cca points, dated 8th jan 2009. i need 15 more! competitions this year, please pull me through. :D
debates will be put to a stop and it's gonna be full blown for drama.
instead of writing poems, i'll focus on writing bio essays.
instead of fiddling with my wonderful ipod, i'll fiddle with my awesome cards.
and we've come so far since the start of st patrick's school life. it's been 4 years.
and my ambition. is just dying off. i dont know whether i can make it.
i want to heal the world but i don't think i can.
i cannot. why can't i.
why can't i.
i'm lacking in hope.
i'm lacking in faith.
i've fallen from grace.

edited post!
:D

i see you.

2009-01-18T20:34:00.007+08:00

whoa. i went for my relative's place for his housewarming party and poof. stayed there for a few good couple of hours, damn. that was crap. the place was nice. the food's nice. the company was bullshit.
gotto get back to studying already.
'o' levels, ugggghhhhh.
go peer support study clique!

I wanna impress you, with my magic.
with my so-totally awesome read-your-mind magic.
we're telepathic, i know it.

2009-01-16T22:03:00.003+08:00

wow. it's been awhile.
i've been working hard on my additional math re-exam which was on monday, only to realize that i'll flunk it, again. for the past week, i spent my time in school, getting things done, 'studying' with my best peeps. it was fun while it lasted. but i think, it's really unlike me. i think i'm falling, i think i've fallen already, it's just that i haven't hit the ground yet. i have felt no pain, just yet.
today was my biology re-exam, and i think i flunked that as well.

but! i got invested today, as the new vice president of the peer support board. quite tremendous, i'd never thought that a person like me would make it this far, thanks mdm yu, for nominating me.
if i had passed the interview for PREFECTS in sec one, i think i'd be nowhere near to ringing that heavy school bell, damn it.
peer support, we've been through alot together, peeps. i love y'all.

here's one for my friend;
you know it's this friendship we share.
damn it, you were my best friend and you refused to join me and the others in doing school activities together as one, during the holidays. so don't you apologize to me. i told you before, sorry don't mean a thing when you're clearly lost and confused. you don't even know what you're sorry for, let alone being sorry for a person at all.
if it's an apology you need to offer, it's not for me, it's someone else.
YOU know who it is.
hold on, no. it's the whole board. you detach yourself from our clique then keep yourself in 'tuition'. then what do you expect me to do. i called you a few times, you said you had tuition, well tuition's everyday now for you?
fine. sorry.
oh wait, that word's cliche now. screw this.

sweetheart,
just the blue skies that remind me of you.
argh.!

almost kana langa by car.

2009-01-11T22:43:00.004+08:00

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."
Roy Croft.

OMG. i almost got knocked down by a car today. i almost died!
see i was running down a slope in a carpark, cause i was anxious to get to the mall as soon as possible. there and then, the convex/concave mirrors reflected a image of what seems to be a car and as i turned my head, i saw that effing driver swerved in my direction and skidded away just in time not to knock me over.
i was about 5cm away from the car.
i could have died, damn it.
hell, i think i'm just not thinking straight, not concentrating on my safety and stuff.

whenever you need me. just give me a call, i'll be there for you, i promise.

i'll wait; just cause' i love you.

that 3 minutes call.

2009-01-10T23:34:00.001+08:00

i'm gonna stay up to study additional math. i'm feeling terrible.
but the re-test is on monday.
sighs.

screw fucking imeem.
here's the full song.
i'd do it all again for you.

2009-01-03T23:56:00.001+08:00

yeah. first day of school.
it always feels the same. that same memory comes back. when i was in pre-school, and oh oh oh, first day of school was like leaving for war. i remembered i cried and cried. holy crap. which child wouldn't be afraid to just suddenly leave home early in the morning, damn it.
those were the days. when i was still in newton kindergarten. yeah, remember the little uniform shirt that you wore? yes. i remember mine. and yupp. i was small and tiny. imagine that, now i'm bigger than what i used to be. all of these passes by so darn quickly. hell yeah, it feels as if tomorrow i'm taking my last 'o' levels paper. oh i do look forward to that day.
19th november 2009 everyone. mark it down in your calendar cause' that's the day i finish my 'o' levels.

i know you called, i called back.
no one picked up.
i will do whatever it takes.

2008 goodbye.

2008-12-31T18:04:00.003+08:00

okay, so today is the last day of year 2008.
let's take a step back and review the stuff that happened this year.

the numerous CIPs i've attended thanks to shao meng. parents' day CIP, the one where we had a 25 strong peer support board there up and running helping out at the marine terrace area, putting up games, setting up chairs, performances and songs as well performed by our very own leaders. i was one of them at that point of time. my friend and i sang way back into love by hugh grant and haley bennet.
it was awesome fun.
as well as family day, national day CIPs. it feels good helping people. yeah, this satisfaction you feel. it's besides the CIP hours you get. yeap.

then later in april and may, our english language drama and debating society sent their 5 speakers to the annual julia gabriel's competition. there was caleb, shane, kenneth, myself and some other guy whose name i can't remember. could be gregory or siak wei. anyway, we barely got pass all three prelim rounds; we only got pass two. and we were out. pity though. it was the teamwork problem.
oh well, we'll try better next year. although next year i'll be going for SYF for drama. switching passions now even though i love debates too.

soon after came 5th july then september 4th.
yadayadayadayada, then october 11th.
refer to archives if need be. i've got good memory skills, let's just say that.

organizing team for lltc b'! omg omg omg. this was awesome. games sub-comm planned out the games, put together the materials, and made it happen! with a few of the other OTs.
thanks maria, theodore, max, ted and ed-linddi.

the disastrous catastrophe started november 1st. that was when i first came back from hong kong. i still feel that same, distinct emotion i felt that day.

patrician leadership training camp facilitator! i'd have loved the camp more if the Peer Leaders organized it. mehh, adam khoo... tsk.
yupp, first cikgu's wedding then my great-grandma's passing.
induction day and that awesome and unforgettable peer support bbq.
best year in my life, 2008, goodbye.

i do have regrets though.
i couldn't and didn't attend NLLC. too bad, some said it was sheer fun.
then it so happened that this is the first year mr. peterson took over the camps and pushed it to adam khoo to handle, ugh.
and we shouldn't have played by ear. screw it, i should have held you when i could.
a lot happened while you were gone and i do miss you.

resolutions? hell yeah.
7 points, 'O' levels.
SAJC, CJC, TPJC. achievable? i think so.
let's go peer support. we will do whatever it takes to get back sec one OC and PLTC.
we can do it. i know we can.

oh yeah. read my november 24th post if you haven't. it's a self-proclaimed poem.

ciao.

the exco position.

2008-12-30T23:41:00.005+08:00

living together in peace.

there there.
what a day it was today.
first i woke up late at around, 10.30 am?
yeah. then i left home at 11 for the annual general meeting in school and the release of the peer support exco 09' results.
wow. guess what!
i'm vice president of peer support.
omg, omg, omg, omg!
it's amazing. i can tell you that now.
cause after all i've been through. with the board, with my clique, with my fellow peers and juniors, the events i've organized, the camps i've facilitated. it was so much fun.
and eugene, congrats to you.
together with darren, jovi, jonas. good job people, you guys rock.
screw the rest of the politics. the journey's most important i guess.
ecstasy running through my blood.
ate at kfc, played lots of bridge. awesome game lah, bridge.
got my hair cut and now i look like some primary school kid with bad hair sense with my not much hair left to feel.
shit man.
in the meantime, i've completed putting all the album artwork for all the albums in my ipod touch. finally.! it took one hour.
cover flow is cool. plus videos and tap tap revenge.
oh yeah. there's like this a.math re-exam. and i haven't really studied. i'm in trouble. gotto start studying soon.
i'm gonna do my new year resolution tomorrow. check it people.
peace.!
if probiscus monkeys can do it, why can't we?
world peace today, go go go.

yupp yupp.
hope you like my present.
:D

quiz.

2008-12-29T20:45:00.005+08:00

i love skyway avenue by we the kings.
okay i'm gonna answer a quiz. here goes.

1. List four random items you have:
my keys with a kangaroo-like soft toy keychain.
scientific calculator.
my phone.
ipod touch!

2. Have you ever slept in the back of the car?
yupp.

3. Have you recently dyed your hair/cut it?
no. it's extremely long though. gonna get a haircut before school reopens.

4. List four people you look up to the most.
okay, i'm gonna change this answer. i realized i look up to alot of people.
mdm soh.
dominic yong.
my teachers and friends.
aiden.

5. How many pets do you own as of now?
nope.

6. Which do you prefer? White or Black?
both.

7. Who is your most played character?
what the hell's this.

8. Choose one or the other, not both: Being stuck on an island with a friend, or being stuck on an island with 5 acquaintances.
friend.

9. Name three aspects that tell who you are.
hyper.
weird.
fun.

10. If you could have a power what would it be?
controlling time. like hiro in heroes.

11. Who was the last person you talked to?
popo.

12. Who was the last person you said “i love you” to?
didn't say that for quite awhile.

13. Write down the first five words that pop into your head.
i want to go out.

14. What’s five things you wish you could do better?
speak better chinese.
additional math.
physics.
general knowledge.
more dialects.

15.Do you like the way you are?
yeah. could be better though.

16. Choose, Summer or winter?
winter.

17. Rain or snow?
snow.

18. Water or ice?
ice.

19. List two odd things about yourself.
i talk to myself.
i look out of the window quite often just to see the sky.

20. Which are two of your bad habits?
vulgarities.
sarcasm.

21. What’s 1 of your biggest pet peeve?
what's a pet.. what?

22. Now list 6 people who should do this quiz:
whoever's free.

23. Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket?
venice with my love.

24. What's your favourite thing to do?
omg, sleep, eat, party, drink.

25. Do you think money can buy happiness?
nope.

26. If you were given a chance to recieve something, what would it be?
HAHAHAH. omg, you wouldn't want to know.

27. Things you can't live without?
family.
friends.
oxygen.

28. What are you afraid to lose?
what a dumb question.
family.
friends.
my peer support clique.
oxygen.
i've lost her already, so.

29. If you win $1 million US dollars, what would you do?
half million for medications to help people around the world.
another quarter to ease poverty.
and the rest for me, my family and my friends.

30. What do you dream of doing in the future?
doctor.

31. List down 3 good points about the person who gave you this survey.
i've no idea. just found it on the net.

32. What makes you happy?
family.
friends.
and hyperactive moments with, .....

33. What type of person do you hate the most?
arrogant people. though i'm one myself. trying very hard to change though.

34. If you have a super power what would it be?
controlling time.

35. Would you go for happiness or money?
happiness.

36. If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, would you die for her/him?
yes. i'd die to save someone i love.

37. Who's the last person who hugged you?
aiden. i think he pushed me away when i hugged him.

38. What is the one thing you want to do badly right now?
access the internet on my ipod touch.

39. Who are you close to?
erm. my clique. my family.

40. Are you courageous enough to tell the person that you like him?
did so. she didn't like me back i guess.

41. If you could do one thing all over again what would it be?
beural debate.

2008-12-26T19:51:00.002+08:00

we were getting the bbq stuff last friday.

directions anyone?

peer support clique.

a peaceful kid and his friend the rock star.

my awesome mocha walnut cake.

and this, this reminds me of you.

2008-12-25T11:59:00.001+08:00

merry christmas!

i got:
an ipod touch.
a pair of jeans.
a wallet.
a dog calendar thingy.

24th dec, christmas eve.
i was out with fiona. walked about.
saw stuff. walked more. and more.
then we met up with jovi and dom.
then i went home.
christmas. a time where the family puts together good food.
and my awesome mocha walnut cake.
called her a few times, didnt pick up apparently.
the next day!
played with my brand new touch touch. putting in all the apps, music, videos, movies, and album art.
it was very, very leychey.
then it came a point where i had to sit through an extremely boring movie called cape no.7. people, please DO NOT watch it. you'll die of boredom.
grabbed some drinks and sat by the balcony.
sat there till 4am. it was awesome.
can you just imagine the wind blowing in your face.
and that cool, sensational taste of ice cold drinks.
there is one thing though.
i did think of this past year.
and thought it through carefully cause' i want to make a difference in the new year ahead.
cause we'll have to learn from our mistakes.
take one step back and 4 steps forward.
courage through faith? yeah. i've been through that. even conquered it.
but in the end, i'm still lost. there is courage. there's no faith.
hope. love. faith. and determination.
go go power rangers!
this weird habit of mine, still persisting.
i'm still freaking looking out of the window, hoping to see stars.
and nope. i know i won't see it.
i'll still look out for it.
happy birthday jesus.
happy birthday sir issac newton.

we should be friends really.
if it's better for you this way.
can we just talk more.

another lonely day.

2008-12-22T23:58:00.002+08:00

so it goes another lonely day.
i keep seeing the same image when i shut my eyes.
i keep listening to the same song, over and over again.
i miss the times we talked till late.
i miss your singing through the receiver in my phone.
i miss that distinct laughter which fills the air, every time we talk.
i miss every single detail about you.
christmas in 3 days.
yeah. woohoo. i'm so excited. yay.
by the way. thanks to all who attended the bbq at casafina on friday.
and many thanks to jovi who organized it.
brillant food. brillant drinks and awesome family secrets shared amongst one another.
:D

will post the pictures of the bbq as soon as pao sends it to me.
also check out the st pats peer support board blog in 2, 3 days time cause it'll definitely be updated. i promise.

past few days i've been trying to keep myself busy.
i'm watching the avatar, legend of aang. the last airbender. it's sorta like some kinda all powerful KID who can master all four elements of bending. and there's like, water, fire, earth and air bending.
you've gotto catch the series either on *whistles* okto , channel 8 at 7.30pm. or, here.

well. goodnight.
i'm gonna bake cookies tmrw. awesome little kiddish, gingery, little gingerbread men cookies.

2008-12-20T16:03:00.001+08:00

Look After You - The Fray.

If I don't say this now
I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one
I want to take
Forgive the urgency but
Hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oooh, Oooh,
Be my baby
Oooooh.
Oooh, Oooh,
Be my baby
I'll look after you

There now, steady love,
So few come and don't go
Will you want to ,
Be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control,
The city spins around
You're the only one
Who knows, you slow it down

Oooh, Oooh,
Be my baby
Ooooooh,
Oooh, Oooh,
Be my baby
I'll look after you
And I look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love, she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oooh, Oooh,
Be my baby
I look after you
After you
Oooh, Oooh,
Be my baby
Ooooooh,

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oooh, Oooh
Be my baby
Ooooooh,
Oooh, Oooh,
Be my baby
Ooooooh,
Oooh, Oooh,
Be my baby
Ooooooh,
Oooh, Oooh,
Be my baby
Ooooooh.

2008-12-18T22:45:00.003+08:00

i'm here without you.

snippets of another memory.

2008-12-16T22:43:00.002+08:00

snippets of another memory.

i saw her for the last today.
she was still wrinkled as usual, but i didn't cry alot. i just.. teared a little.
we went to the funeral place in the morning around 10. and carried out the procedure like the previous night.
and later at 12, the people closed the lid of her coffin and she laid there, with just chrysthemum flowers and purple colored daisies.
granny, aunties and beloved uncles became really emotional at this point of time.
sometimes in life, you only feel sad at the crucial point of time when someone finally goes. when someone finally passes on.
it's then, when you realize and reflect.
your conscience talks to you.
"hey you little fucker,"
"have you been nice enough to her?"
"have you tried your very best to know her properly?"
and another kazillon questions that your conscience continually asks you.
it's kinda scary after awhile, really.
on a side note, thanks for all your heartfelt condolences.
you've gotto really cherish EVERYTHING and EVERYONE you have.

2008-12-14T23:53:00.006+08:00

this is my 61st post since july 6th. many thanks to dominic yong who helped me fix my blog skin properly. technical advisor, yeah. credits!
it's been too long to have check my archives again.
i was indeed quite happy yesterday cause i kinda thought through everything thoroughly. but! later at night, i became a little cranky. cause the stupid kfc jesslyn stole one of my 3 piece chicken.
like that chai ling fella at subway.
holy shit, is this cyber bullying? ahh, what the fuck, they'll never find my blog anyway.
i just.. i didn't know what to say right.
what the fuck do you want me to say then.
if someone is beautiful, it'll remain that way forever.
it won't fucking change right.
beauty comes from the heart, you fags.
i don't understand it either, but it just won't fucking change.
and i'm just a wee bit too slow.
maybe i didn't get it at the first time, so what!
if you're angry, okay.
i'm pissed off too, you know.
and sometimes i just wonder if we do see the same fucking moon up there and feel the same way we did when we were together, as in physically, not r/s wise.
yeah anyway it couldn't happen at all in this 'ridiculous, non-existent, complicated relationship' can it, now.
i'm just a lost, confused kid, looking for answers everywhere i go.
but everywhere i go, i'd see you.
holy crap, it freaks me out lah.
love songs ain't love songs no more. it's just another way of expressing how you feel about someone. it's just so damn frustrating to not be able to accept the person's acceptance of you.
screw it.

i know sooner or later you'll be reading this, so.
friends how. is it still possible.
please?
give me a chance.

Decode - Paramore.

2008-12-11T22:30:00.002+08:00

30 days - NeverShoutNever.

30 days till Christmas and all I know
Is I'm not quite ready to let go of this past year
I have so much to show
One more month and all I need
Is a sign from you, that you think of me
If you don't, than please just say so
Cause all I do, is think of you

And it's wearing me out, it's wearing me down
This holiday, is nothing but frowns for me
But I've got a gift, you see
I'm making a list, hell, I'll check it twice
Of all the things you've done in my life
And I'll send it your way
So you see why I love you

Who would've thought that someone like me
Could've fallen in love so easily
I know that you know that I know what I want
I know I can't have it but give it a thought
I know that it sounds crazy, baby
But all I do is think of you

And it's wearing me out, it's wearing me down
This holiday, is nothing but frowns for me
But I've got a gift, you see
I'm making a list, hell, I'll check it twice
Of all the things you've done in my life
And I'll send it your way
So you see why I love...

Everything you through my way
I know it's hard to say, but it's a crying shame
That I came all this way, with so much to say
But all that came out was "happy holiday"
A home cooked meal and a nice warm bed
Somebody who love a place to lay my head
But I got 30 days and I'ma make them count
Cause I can't call it Christmas without someone to smile about.

heart and brain

2008-12-10T23:02:00.007+08:00

beauty of the heart, intelligence of the brain.

i started studying today.
i've forgotten lots of my chemistry shit. all those ionic bonding and y-y road map stuff. revised for a good 2 hours today, for chemistry as well as a little biology.
the heart is indeed a complicated device.
because!
the heart doesn't actually feel any feelings or emotions at all. it's the brain. and yet, many songwriters, poets, and what have you, include it in their works that, "oh, my heart's broken by you; you've hurt my heart; ahhhhh! the feelings in my heart... etc etc."
this *theoretically*, is bullshit.
all along the assumption runs this way. my HEART contains feelings for you. well actually it's your BRAIN. since your brain feels it and tells you, you feel it.
of course, your brain feel by these five senses, sight, sound, touch, taste and smell.
and technically, your heart does only one thing.
it pumps blood. oxygenated and deoxygenated blood. that's it.
your brain controls your emotions. people these days don't go, "oh, you've hurt my brain."
i think this is partially related with poets in the past. shakespeare must have confused the heart and the brain. now we're all confused.
there there! heart for pumping blood, brain for almost everything we do, including emotions felt and actions carried out.
so it's actually your brain feeling the emotions.
therefore, my brain's been hurting and it still does.

2008-12-07T22:39:00.002+08:00

"life is fragile."

two months ago, my great grand mother was admitted to the hospital cause she was freaking weak and couldnt eat anything. at that point of time, i thought everything was going to be okay cause she's pulled through so much stuff and now this wouldnt just, knock her over or anything.
then two weeks later, my family and i went to her place to visit her. yupp. she was indeed looking better but still not eating alot. for meals, she'd just take a few spoonfuls of porridge and thats it. a lady at her age, she's ninety eight by the way, would definitely need more food than that.
as the days go by, she grew weaker and weaker.
yesterday, something strange happened. according to my relatives who stay with her, she started to vomit ALOT. and since she couldnt eat much, all she vomited were phlegm and and all the other disgusting stuff in the stomach, churned hydrochloric acid, etc.
she was admitted to the hospital again last night.
i only realized last night that all the while she had a tumor inside of her that was the size of an apple.
the atmosphere there and then in the holding area was cold and sombre. everyone was looking at one another and i looked back at them, not knowing what to say. we couldn't go into the ward cause her condition's not stabilized yet so we couldn't see her.
we visited her again today and she looked extremely skinny. i could see her skin coming right off her bones and there was no flesh AT ALL between her bones and her skin. it was just there, her bone.
mom broke up in tears and i felt my eyes starting to tear a little as well. how can a kid like me understand all this pain when everyone in the class c ward was tearing away?
i didnt understand the grave situation that was at hand. i don't talk to her often at all, i rarely call and she speaks teochew for pete's sake and i know NO teochew.
can't even understand her language, let along communicate with her. i just stood there, and watched the other relatives and cousins of mine, walking up to her and trying to make contact with her.
she is but a frail, old lady. all these pain and suffering that my family's going through. it's saddening. then mom came up to me and told me, "life is fragile."
so what now? doctor said she could pass on anytime.
i hope she'll be okay.
i didn't cherish my time with her. now she's just lying in bed in hospital.
screw this.
the answer lies within for all of us.
people out there. please. you cant buy time. cherish every moment you have with your loved ones. your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, parents, grandparents and friends. i mean it, cherish EVERY moment.
cause i know i didn't.
what a day.

2008-12-01T22:04:00.000+08:00

here're some pictures taken by my dad's camera. one of which is the flower which inexplicitly shows awesome detail and clarity for a macro shot. it's just damn amazing, what cameras can do these days.
i was at my teacher's wedding yesterday and it was different from the other weddings i've attended before.
this was held at a void deck which was kinda different cause it's a culture thing. the food was great. the spicyness. the rice. and oh the cakes.
after that, went to the expo with the psb alumni people and eugene.
and damn it. my christmas present's gone. perhaps. freaking 8gb ipod touch was going for only $300 yesterday at the sitex fair and i didnt get it.
it's just too bad. ~~and i'm kinda effing pissed off?! haha.~~
somehow or rather, i always associate people and friends and loved ones with songs.
like depending on his/her character, i'd pair him/her up with a song of my choice.
and it's sometimes frustrating. how, how bad you wanna sleep but you just end up looking up into the night facade, and gazing at the empty skies hoping that stars would appear. cause in this small little part of the little red dot i call home, there ain't any stars up there. let alone the moon. i hardly see the freaking moon at all.
i cant sleep, and when i do, i dream only of her. this sucks. it sucks to dream of someone you cant have.
and every moment spent with that person just reminiscenced in your effing dream.
it's like it rehappened. but you cant do anything to stop it or change it.
like a movie, a deja vu. a storybook that's been read for 5-6 times already.
whatever it is, i'm yours.
and i need your panacea dose.

2008-11-29T23:42:00.006+08:00

we need peace.

it's amazing when you read the news and realize how simple things can be and how subtle situations may start off, it'll end with such a devastating impact to mankind.
let's consider the protests going on in thailand first.
with all its flights going in and out of thailand cancelled, many foriegners are stuck out there in thailand. and the people in yellow have seized the thailand international airport as a form of protest. now, isn't this going too far? just for politics sake?
this hurts the economy too.
imagine a whole month of airport closure. imagine the ecomonical catastrophes incurred in that month. businesses lost, money's lost, customers' lost.
recall the bali bombing in 2002? it took nearly 3 years for tourists from around the world to revisit that 'bombed' place.
dont even get me started on india.
politics have gotten many anti-indian rule protestors to hurt the innocent.
there's a singaporean who died i think and she's just 27. imagine that.
whatever happened to thinking before acting.
whatever happened to a unification of one country.
and what happened to peace and harmony.
tonight, we pray for those dead and injured.
we pray for all the violence to stop.
it's just horrible, and horrifying. what protestors can do when they want something so bad. they'd kill to get it. it's just scary.
If everyone cared, we'll surely make a difference in this world.
let's achieve world peace.

self-proclaimed poetry.

2008-11-24T23:32:00.006+08:00

for you.

if love was a picture.
it'd paint itself,
as a beautiful portrait,
and the feelings felt.
just like a picture,
i'd want us to exist.
no matter how i tried,
you hardly believed.
that we could be one.
that we could be happy.
that we could be joyful.
that we could be we.

if love was a food.
i'd eat it everyday,
to enjoy it slowly,
to savour its taste.
just like a food,
you didnt have me enough,
i'm not the best, (for you)
it's true and no bluff.
though that's the truth,
i'll have to wait, (for you)
i've got many hills to move,
and my life ahead. (with you)

if love was a flower.
i'd choose a daisy,
just cause it symbolizes,
affection and beauty.
to me, you're beautiful,
every part of you,
and will always be true.

if love was the sky.
it'd know no boundaries,
with the stars as its eyes,
no hurt, no goodbyes.

if love was a song.
a melody and some lyrics,
it'd have many emotions,
and different kinds of feelings.
imagine the wonders,
what a song can do.
it brings people around,
for me and for you.
it solves discrimination,
and provides anticipation,
for whatever's gonna happen,
and ensures that we,
will remain we.

and if love was a feeling?
then there'd be no hunger.
no hate in this world,
there wont be any buggers.
no horror, no fear,
just laughter no tears.
no war, just peace,
the earth would be green.
no disasters no pain,
we won't need any saints.
cause deep down inside,
this never subsides.
this warmth, this love,
it's like some kinda dope.
some drug of some kind,
that takes over the globe.
it pulls us together,
like in a fairy tale.
with happy endings,
wow, this never fails.

if love was us,
we'd be together,
we'd talk all day,
from dawn to dusk.

a picture,
a food,
a flower,
the sky.
a song,
a feeling,
and us,
but why.

i want you.
i need you.
and i love you.

woot.

24th nov 2008.

2008-11-21T21:57:00.003+08:00

the holidays have been quite stressful for me so far.
first it was my misdoing while i was in hongkong. second was some conflict between someone and i. then now my phone's confiscated cause i was pissed off and argued with my mom over some stupid shit. it's kinda ~~fucked~~ messed up if you ask me.
anyway, i've a three daisies on my table, in a vase. one's pink, the other two's purple. it's withering and dying soon but it still smells nice. oh who cares. who'd care anyway. daisies symbolizes innocence, youth and inner beauty. gerbera daisies, i bought.
and so today was open house. the st patrick's school guided tours were quite successful as well as me dressing up as a clown and promoting my cca drama. it went well i guess.
my clown suit was awesome. yellow, blue and red checkered with blue baggy pants and pink fluffy shoes. imagine that. some of the parents were afraid of me but nevermind! i managed to get their attention later on after 'socializing'. yupp yupp.
after the whole thing, we went out for lunch in our clique and came back to school for pool and a whole lotta of cs. shooting assholes are fun and exciting. counter terror pwns, 45 kills. i know, i'm not good at this, ~~my friend~~ dom! had over 100 kills. pfft.
oh btw, i love green apple pearl green tea.
cant wait for induction day. yeaps.
that's all to report.
edited!

i'm falling to pieces.

2008-11-15T23:22:00.002+08:00

happiness is contagious.
sadness is a disease.
and love, love is a blessing.

i'm still coughing alot. ugh, hope i recover soon damn it.
today's the last day of british council this year and yupp yupp, i am continuing my lessons next year, same time, hopefully not so many changes of teachers.
i found it difficult to concentrate in the things i did today cause i was tired. i slept at around 3plus am last night. i was thinking about something and listening to random songs on the radio.
sometimes, the radio can really be a good way to pick up new songs and tunes cause they're different. the ting tings for example.
then later, jason and i went for the rgs play called clueless. it was fun and well thought out.
haha. good luck friend.
let's continue where we left off please?
let's write our love story.

2008-11-12T23:29:00.003+08:00

hello world.
i've been sick the whole day. spending most of my precious time in bed, resting and dreaming.
i hate this feeling.
freaking sore throat / fever / running nose.
ughh.

2008-11-10T22:10:00.005+08:00

and so, the 6 of us, went for national education today. i was lucky and priveleged enough to visit the marina barrage, which was a high tech system which drains out water and maintains a constant level of water in the reservoirs in singapore. the whole mechanism's kinda cool. there're like, 8 flappy things, and each one will open up when there's excess water to allow the water to flow out.
then lunch.
then home.
i'm having a running nose and it's most probably cause of the rain today.

sooner or later, i'll still have to face it.
but the thing is. i think, i did the right thing this time. which is good i guess.
i've gotto start studying. it's been awhile since i last touched my a.math textbook. i touched my bio textbook today. but i fell asleep after 5 mins. oh well.
do better tmrw then.

a song again.
until the end.

2008-11-07T23:58:00.001+08:00

"group 1! group 1! We the squashers, will squash you to pieces, take us head on and you're going down! Gooooooo Squashers!"
today marks the end of pltc. it was alright i guess.
the only difference in being a facil here and in lltc is that in lltc, there are more things to do. i'm kept busy, constantly.
for pltc, it's just that we're freer. this adam khoo is quite, special i must say. creative and he has his own ways of spreading leadership. for that i applaud him.
as for the 14 facils, good job. (:
and the participants, you survived the walk! yay.
'i conquered adam khoo's stadium programme. step from the road. to the sea. to the sky.'
old news here but. OBAMA WON! yeah. okay. first black president in the white house.
ending off here with another song.
well obviously.

2008-11-03T11:11:00.002+08:00

maxine tagged me to do this quiz.

7 things that scare me:
-losing someone i love most.
-additional math.
-freaking halloween monsters.
-homos and other sexually disorientated people.
-standing up on stage with nothing to talk about.
-fear of the dark?
-some idiot stalker perhaps.

7 things I love the most:
-my family.
-my friends.
-her.
-pictures with effects like b/w, sepia and all those other photoshop stuff.
-food, glorius food.
-debates and drama.
-the peer support board.

7 important things in my room:
-my bed.
-my stuffed toy named lemonade.
-my laptop.
-guitars.
-wardrobe.
-lights, lights, lights.
-blanket.

7 random facts about me:
-peer support leader.
-drama-tian.
-debator.
-my favorite colors are orange and green.
-i love taking pictures and look foward to the day when i have a professional camera.
-i love the beach. the sun, the sea and the cool breeze.
-i want to be a doctor when i grow up.

7 things I cannot do:
-give up.
-get her out of my head.
-stop using vulgarities.
-stop looking out of the window.
-stop looking up at the sky.
-stop taking pictures.
-stop eating ice.

7 things that I say the most:
-what the hell.
-damn it.
-holy crap.
-shit.
-this is bad.
-oh my gosh.
-mmhm.

7 things I recently listened to:
-to be with you by mr. big.
-look after you by the fray.
-crush crush crush by paramore.
-you and me by lifehouse.
-more than words by extreme.
-the answer lies within by dream theater.
-check yes juliet by we the kings.

7 movies/dvd I recently watched:
-love guru.
-batman begins.
-house bunny.
-spongebob squarepants the movie.
-simpsons the movie.
-fantastic four and the silver thing.
-boogeyman.

7 favourite singers or bands:
-avenged sevenfold.
-iron maiden.
-dream theater.
-red hot chili peppers.
-boys like girls.
-secondhand serenade.
-david cook.

7 people i tag to do this.
-whoever's free and extremely bored.

2008-11-02T19:13:00.007+08:00

if pictures can a tell a thousand words then here it is. photos of my hong kong trip. highlights of each day.]

there you have it.
6 days of hongkong.

2008-10-26T21:29:00.001+08:00

one day to departure. it'll be for hong kong tmrw. i wonder. what life's like in hong kong. also, st pats will be debating against the hong kong pple on tuesday. it's like we're representing singapore. holy crap.
this house would legalize capital punishment, opposition. i guess i'll be third speaker again. and well. each speech only lasts 3 minutes. it shouldnt be a problem i think.
criteria, onus, baseline, yardstick and case. it'll be done by monday. woots. i wont be writing for awhile cause hong kong wont have any free internet access point for me to pen my thoughts while im there.
i've got my hong kong dollars ready. my phone. my clothes. and my lemonade.
there's this feeling. this bittersweet feeling. i dont know how to explain it. i'm gonna miss everyone. my family, my friends and my love.
signing off with Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve.

2008-10-24T23:35:00.003+08:00

hello! OT meeting was really great. went through some OT business then, took many photos and sang many songs. did a few of our very own videos and interpretations of the songs. it was awesome!

2008-10-23T17:17:00.000+08:00

it's been a rough day today. got two certs. one for top in humanities in the level and another for second in the level for bio. i still think i can do better. i mean, it's just two certs. freaking affirmations dont mean shit.
it's a way to make you feel good. thats all. thats the nature of my school. it feels un-egoistical.
at this time, i'm still stuck in school with my best friends, playing pool and watching them play shooting games. damn it.
it gets a little boring after awhile and it feels sleepy. the whole atmosphere, ambience, it gets all dark and dusky. it just feels different.
perhaps, it's just..
this feeling of difference.
i'm still in the school.
still here.
still waiting.
still waiting for acceptance.

on a lighter note, this song's awesome. go check it out. Mr Big - To be with You.

2008-10-20T18:16:00.002+08:00

LLTC B' ROCKED!
day zero.
so we were preparing for the next day, putting up signages, setting up the secretariat and logistics store and stuff. getting to know the other OTs again. haha. prepared the games and helped the other sub comms to set up their relevant things. sagittaire! sagittaire! and goutham was my co-facil. yupp.! today was boring. and tiring too.

day one!
i met up with 4 pther st pats OT, john koh, eugene, jason and darren tan. we intended to have breakfast together but apparently, i already had mine so i was just there to watch them eat. later, we went to the supermarket to get some snacks and all but throughout the whole camp as facilitators we didnt eat more than 10 of them cause we were just too effing busy, running around helping each other out especially makan sub comm.
camp had started with the ice breakers but i didnt think it was really successful cause i didnt really get to talk to them much. i had to confiscate their wallets, handphones and other personal belongings because of one obvious reason: theft. after that, i released their name tags, they were laminated, blue colored with yellow lanyard. and yes, mine was the opposite! as seen in the picture, i attended lltc A and facilitated lltc B, in the same year. woots!
participants then had to have their tea break and their 7 habits talk which was of utmost boredom.
then came my sub comm duty! GAMES. yes! maria, ted, theodore, max, jeremy and myself, we handled a game each with another facil to help us along the way. we set up water ballons, flour, ping pong balls, raffiah strings, bamboo poles, more string and more flour.
my game was the foo foo balls. the participants had to blow the ping pong ball from one side to another and back to earn one point. they had to get as many points as possible in 5 minutes. aha. the catch was that, there's flour on the table. making it extremely, freaking flour-ry everywhere. we had to clean up and gosh it was not fun. ARGH.
dinner.
more talks.
and the bangla dance! yay!
i slept at 330am.

day two.
woke up and morning PT! taught the participants the bangla dance and all. my group, sagittaire, after observing them for one day, arent that bonded as my lltc A group gregory, with selva, balya, matthew suresh and the ohers. gosh we were bonded like crazy. and yeah, post mortem's this: is bonding with my group members more important than making the camp a successful one? cause by making the camp a successful one, i and the other facils had to run around the school to get things done in the required time frame. so it was tough. whatever said and done, here's the journey for now. chai chee one room flats. my sagi pple had to clean this horrendus looking flat which smelt like urine and shit. literally. some left cause of the youth rally thingy. they escaped! ahhhhhh!
after that, mass games! we played blow wind blow. participants enjoyed it alot! i think. then came the la salle examplar. eating porridge = realizing social difficulties among the society. there.
solidarity lasalliana i wasnt there cause i had to help makan do stuff again. this is the best for today, the reflections. seriously. lasallian day of peace. this was really brillantly set up. though i dont have any photos for this, i'll try to explain. there's this two columns of mat put in a u-shaped position with a giant candle in the center. and the giant candle was surrounded by many small candles that the facils and the participants had to light, to signify, the lasallian day of peace.
the OT gets very little sleep so participants, be thankful! we slept at 3am.

day three.
some were missing for sunday mass. so they didnt really pick up the last and vital parts of the dance. it was fun. the dance was awesome, really. we had walk the talk. this walk the talk thing was supposed to make the group get to their destination and learn more about the social realities. like for example, geyland road and its migrant workers, philiphinoes, thais, indians, etc. we got there and back the soonest we could and yeah. my sagi pple, being capable as they are, completed the challenge and managed to talk to different migrant workers.
reflections and leadership stuff was next followed by the comissioning and closing where i saw my sagittaire group guys bond totally. rock on sagittaire.
i'm proud to be your facil. yeah!
okay. was damn tired. and had a effing infection on my upper lip. ugh. painful and disgusting i swear.
alright.
ending off with a song. josephians, patricians, internationals, we are lasallians, all for one mission.
Many Lives, One Mission

2008-10-11T20:32:00.003+08:00

check yes juliet,
remember the day we met?
the yoyo and all that intellect.
there was something about you dear,
that could make me laugh and cheer.
today,
was really an awesome day,
at the start,
i wasn't really hyper.
i didn't know what to say,
to make it all sound happier.
but that soon faded.
at the movies,
or just the things we talked, (about)
at the fountain,
or just the times you called, (my name)
i didn't think about it at first,
but then i said: "okay."
then i went ahead, held your hand.
"let's go to the beach and walk on the sand."
from that moment on,
i saw this love come to dawn.
"i don't wanna let go"
and from the bottom of my heart,
i've loved you from the very start.
and it really makes my day,
once again, i've got to say.
in your very own ways,
you're perfect.
check yes juliet?

special thanks to those friends of yours,
who pulled us together,
like a gravitational force.
or maybe just simply,
cations and anions,
or like wizards and witches,
and ionic bonds.

i love you sweetheart.

2008-10-10T15:52:00.002+08:00

my examinations are finally over. hooray! woots!
here goes. just a summary of all the shit i've taken during the exams.
english was okay, chinese was screwed up, especially paper 2. ugh.
elementary maths was full of circles and i HATE circles. additional math was full of shit and all that cotangent and proving identities bullshit.
and physics? yupp. that was crap too. what the hell do you expect me to do, calculate the amount of energy the ball has when it rolls down the damn slope? whatever for! sheesh.
biology, chemistry and combined humanities was a success. these are the only three papers that i completed in time. woot!
also, for the oral i think i screwed up too. i said 'erm' 16 times. thats kinda bad if you're in debates and a public speaker as well. oh wells!
i came, i saw, i conquered. and i think i'm getting better. recovering, slowly but surely from that perpetual cold and flu. stupid viruses in my body.
so it's gonna be a damn fun holiday. first lltc B' (facilitator!). and then hong kong exchange programme! 27th oct to 1st nov. and then pltc, followed by induction day. peer support! woot!
let's end this off with a song.
Time of my life - David Cook

2008-10-01T21:59:00.004+08:00

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!
forget the coming adulthood and forget about those pesky teenage worries. responsibilities relinquished and let loose! relax. today's your day people! have fun. (: reminiscence the childhood memories and love the days when you played with lego.

and the selamat hari raya aidilfitri.

edited post!
i've to say, that i think my end of years are pretty screwed already. argh! there's still time! gotto study. damn it.
i woke up today, at around, 7am? went for a run and i think i pulled my calf muscle. the actual intent for running so darn early in the morning is cause i wanted to revise respiration chapter of biology. aerobic and anaerobic shit. lawls. ~~fucking~~ darn pain i swear.
ate grapes! oranges! rice! biscuits. yay!
studied with friends todayyyyyyy. social studies and a whole lotta fun i guess. sorta more fun to study with friends. but i know i wont get anything out of it cause i usually dont concentrate hard enough. hahahaha.
and btw, the song thats playing now, is called Another Day by Dream Theater. they rock. their music is damn awesome, really. :D
here's something that my group and i did, in june.
the physics project. we're studying the index of refraction. please be kind and gentle to the mistakes made by my group members as well as myself. woot.
(:
ehtoh. i miss you.

2008-09-29T00:09:00.000+08:00

woot! cleaned up my NEW room today at the new place. gosh it looks damn awesome i swear. green! green! woot. and red color chair. btw, i choose not to post shit on this blog. so yeah. sorry, not being honest here. bye.

for you.
i was waiting for your call,
and was sitting by the door.
wanted to hear your voice again,
that saves me from disdain,
pulls me out of fear,
takes away the pain.
i was sick,
caught the flu.
my head's thumping
and you gave two hoods.
i felt more alive,
my heart away from that knife,
the words you said that day.
it doesnt matter now,
so long as we are,
we are talking, now.
dont ever say sorry.
it was never your fault.
i waited and waited,
but i prayed to God,
that you'd forgive me.
i guess you did.
or you felt bad,
there's really no need.
or you really missed me,
like how i missed you.
let's see how it goes?
with that glimpse of hope,
and your panacea dose.

2008-09-28T02:46:00.001+08:00

edited post! more than words by extreme.
unforgiven iii. metallica. that song's playing on repeat on my mp3 player while i'm studying combined humanities. i guess it's tough.
every single time when the exams are approaching, there has to be something about me that makes me feel. i dont know.
like during mid years, i was down with fever. now i'm down with a flu. and constant headaches, making me wanna sleep. my body fights it but hell. i feel. deterioated. did i spell it right. english exam's over but i think i lost a part of me already.
that's quite serious you know. how illnesses and a whole lot of shit can happen to you at the same time.
on a lighter note, i've not eaten for 25 hours. twoot! hahahah. twoot sounds like a bird? ha. not!
well here it is again. the thumping in my skull. got to go.
unforgiven iii - metallica
thanks for calling, i love you.
i just dont know how to put it.

2008-09-20T23:30:00.001+08:00

Taurus.
The Enduring One.
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temperment.

yeah! this is so true. went for flag day today, and british council. there're many new faces in my class. and it's good to make new friends and all. ahahah. fun ah. and sociable. widen your circle of friends. woot!

an analogy here for jason. an old farmer was trying to get his carrots out of the ground.
on the first day, he used his small shovel to take out that carrot but to no avail. all the other farmers laughed at him, but he was determined to get that carrot out of the soil.
on the second day, he used a bigger shovel to dig out the surrounding sand and take out the carrot. unfortunately, the carrot was too large and too hard for him to handle. all the other farmers laughed at him again. but still, standing strong, he said: "tomorrow i'll use a the biggest shovel i can find, to take out that carrot!".
on the third day, indeed. he had a shovel, as big and as tall as himself. he lifted it up and stuck it in the ground and pushed it into the soil, hard. as he was a skinny, frail old man, he fell down a couple of times but picked himself up after every fall. he tried his veery best to remove the carrot and he finally did it.
but, all the farmers still laughed at him.
WHY?
it turns out, the shovel was heavier that him, so everytime he fell down, he lost a part of his energy to continue, but still he did.
also, by the time the carrot was out of the soil, the carrot was scratched and bruised cause of the many frequent times the biggest shovel touched it.
and finally, after removing the carrot, the old man was too tired and fell down into the soil. he had dug his own grave.
MORAL OF THE STORY?
dont over-estimate yourself, dont be so serious about everything, and have a little patience.

chill pill yeah jason. okay ah.

i miss her alot.

2008-09-19T18:23:00.003+08:00

passing on the passion! woot.
and so. today, is another friday. another 7 more days to my english paper. HOLY CRAP! so little time. so much more studies to complete.
bio 12 chapters. only completed 5.
physics? no practice since last week.
chemistry? im not really a chemistry type of guy.
additional and elementary math? sure die.
damn. this is bad. and there's humanities too. alright. so. this is called stress. and pressure. and EXAMS.
tmrw we're having flag day so gotto rush from school to british council and then later on get money for boys town charity thing. oh well.
dance of death! iron maiden! :D
let's end off with another video this time!
featuring me! and the other Peer Support Leaders.
Peer support board, indivisa manent forever man.
CIPs. events. fun. annoyance. Mega Summary video.
watch this omega summary video of the Peer Support Board 2008.
credits sm.

2008-09-16T19:10:00.000+08:00

well, today was tough. biology was boring. slept through it, AGAIN. and darn it. it's so difficult to learn stuff when i'm always thinking of you. shit man.
anyways, i had drama today, did this monologue called 'i could die for you'. this monologue depicts this young teenager being really madly in love with a girl to the extent that he's willing to die for her. yeah. sounds scary yeah. gosh.
i hope my great-granny's fine. ugh. haiya.
i've gotto start revising my humanities already.
i still effing miss you, damn it.

ending off with a song, warmness on the soul by avenged sevenfold.
i give my heart to you.

2008-09-15T22:23:00.005+08:00

i'll wait. patience will pay off, hopefully.

2008-09-14T00:06:00.000+08:00

had british council today. and God, i was starving, by 2pm. i could have sworn i ate like a bowl of noodles, some mooncake, chips, a donut and a swiss roll. holy crap. i'll grow fat! ughh. i was hungry btw!
oh well. i eat alot when im upset.
and sometimes i dont eat cause im sad.
weird huh. yeah.
and revised bio. thats all.

feelings for you impossible to shake off.
Shake it. - Metro station.

2008-09-12T20:55:00.005+08:00

for her.
a short poem is what i'll do,
with all my vocab so i wont sound like a fool.
i may seem stupid by continually persisting,
but i wont give in until my puzzle is fitting.
please put on your sweater when you're feeling cold,
and try missing me a little,
while you're wriggling your toes.
and try remembering the moments we shared,
and how bout the smses, the times where you cared.
if it is time you need,
it is time you'll get.
i really hope one day,
i'd get to hold your hand,
and walk together,
with our feet buried,
in the surface of the sand.
you're perfect in you own ways,
i swear it's true,
and i'll wait for the day,
when i can finally say,
i love you.

2008-09-11T21:27:00.001+08:00

what the hell?
tell me exactly why you're doing this to me.
tell me what you wanted from me in the first place.
tell me why you didnt give me a chance,
and tell me why the hell did you give me hopes then.
let's look at it this way,
i have this brillant candle in my bathroom. it's been there for a good 4 hours, already. the flame is burning strong. why? cause even after so long, there's still some melted wax present in the candle holder. and the candle holder never seem to get hot, even though the flame is above the wax. the flame will die someday but the candle will be there for a very very very long time.
your anger, whole lot of shit posted on your blog, along with the ranting sms-es, is the flame.
you're the candle.
you never seem to fade away. you're always there.
i'm the candle holder.
i'll wait. completely oblivious to any shit.
and hell no. dont you ~~fucking~~ apologize to me.
i hope someday, we'll go to the beach.
and on the beach we'll walk together,
drawing circles in the sand.

we need to talk.

2008-09-09T21:30:00.000+08:00

let's take a look at a twist in my story. (and yours.)

run baby run,
Don't Ever look back
they'll tear us apart,
if you give them a chance
so tell your heart,
Don't say we're not meant to be
run baby run,
forever will be
You and me.

i like this song.
working on chemistry shit now. after the physics bullshit and sleeping in bio.
okay?
yeah.